I Just Love You
by Alan G. Zendra
Summary: A story of a grumpy big brother, an annoying little sister, a park, a stuffed bear, and an unorthodox love. No hentai here, pervs. This is lime. Move along. COMPLETE
1. Act I: We're Going To Be Friends

This is not a lemon, but it sure comes close. I mean, like, **real** close. It's mere millimeters from lemonry--but it remains on the clean side of the line...well, the slightly clean side, anyway.

This story contains strange, unconventional things. You have been forewarned.

I do not own Digimon. I do, however, own a large plot of land in Antarctica. Or so my lawyer tells me.

This is Season 01, or, rather, shortly thereafter.

And on with the show!

**I JUST LOVE YOU**

**Act I: We're Going To Be Friends**

**written by**

agz

* * *

Tai was jacking off to a different beat, his eyes fluidly dancing from panel to panel.

"Oh, Hotaru-chan..." he whispered, his body shifting with every downstroke his hand made on his rigid phallus. His other hand, while not nearly as active, was nonetheless busy as it held open Tai's copy of the "Submission Saturn" doujinshi. Some of the pages were visibly crusted together, and, as Tai did some manual maintenance, white flakes could be seen falling away from the mass and landing gently on the equally white sheets, where they dropped into blank anonymity.

Something in his balls twitched, and Tai gripped his dick tighter. He was almost there. Climax was just over a rise that was masturbation itself, he could see it from here. Just a little more, almost there, three, two, one--

"TAI!"

He froze, hand stuck on an upstroke.

"TAI!"

He thawed, and the hand holding the magazine flipped it closed and, in a flash of flesh and paper, dipped in and out of the crevice between the mattress and the frame of the bed. Now you see it, now you don't. There is nothing up my sleeve.

"TAI!" He could hear the ominous sound of shoes, thumping on the hardwood floor of the apartment, coming down the hall, coming towards **him**. Panicked, he shoved his still-hard member into his underwear.

"TAI!" A rattle as a hand closed around the doorknob. A subsequent rattle as it began to turn.

**Where the hell are my clothes?!** Tai raged silently, looking all around for the pair of brown shorts he always wore, and had put on the edge of his bed just before beginning his little foray into the world of self-pleasure. Now they seemed to have disappeared, maybe sucked into one of the many transdimensional vortexes that occur naturally in a young person's bedroom.

Tai tossed his sheets aside with frustration. Wherever the shorts had been, they were gone now, and that was a Bad Thing.

"TAI!"

He threw a blanket over his lap just as the door swung open with startling force, slamming against the wall and bouncing back, vibrating slightly.

"TAI!"

"God! Don't you knock?!" Tai yelled, throwing one hand up in the air in exasperation. The other hand held the blanket tightly against his body. He took no risks.

"TAI!" Kari yelled a seventh time, both of her hands clenched into fists, arms bent and held near her body. "Tai, there's a fair being held in Kichigaisakka Park today! Can you take me? Canya canya canya?" She bounced from toe to heel with excitement, rocking like some mad inmate.

Tai ran his fingers through his hair in irritation. "Can't Mom take you? I'm busy." Beneath his other hand, his erection twitched, and he almost smiled.

"Nope!" Kari chirped cheerfully. "Mom 'n Dad are gone. It's just you 'n me!"

"WHAT?" Tai bellowed. "When did they leave?!"

"Just now. Mom said they won't be back for a few hours." She stuck the tip of a finger to her mouth and looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Daddy said they were going to a motel. I don't have any idea why. Do **you** know why--"

Tai's face abruptly did its impression of a ripe tomato. "Er...I have no clue, Kari!" he said shrilly, waving his free hand in the air, as if trying to ward Kari's curiosity away from the thought. "I wouldn't think about it, if I were you."

Kari looked at him, and for a fleeting moment Tai thought she was going to call him out on his lie. He gulped and tried frantically to think up some more bullshit to feed to her.

With a big, toothy smile, Kari said "Okay!", which relieved a considerable amount of pressure from Tai's chest. Then, holding her hands together behind her back and swiveling her hips slightly, she repeated "Can you take me?" Her eyes immediately became wet brown polished crystals, begging silently. "Please?"

It was this puppy-dog look that finally broke Tai's resistance. "Fine, fine! I'll take you! Now can you get out? I have to get dressed."

"'Kay! Make it quick!" Kari hopped out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Tai sighed with relief. Maybe now he could finish masturbati--

Tai blinked, and looked down.

"Aw, shit," he groaned, looking despondently down at his erection, which was slowly shrinking before his very eyes, as though it had somehow sprung a leak and the blood inside was swiftly fleeing its tissue prison. Instead of the mighty spear of flesh and fluid that it had once been, it was now a measly little pocket-knife, flimsy and useless, a tiny pink worm.

"Well," he grumbled, "I guess that's that." He pulled up his underwear and began the hunt for his shorts.

* * *

Once the door was closed behind her, Kari pumped her fist.

**Yes!** she thought, grinning. **Today is my day! Ohhhhh, today is gonna be GREAT!**

Still grinning, she did a little spin across the floor, the spin terminating with her hands clasped together in front of her, eyes gazing up at the ceiling, big pink hearts inflating inside them.

"Oh, Tai..."

* * *

"Tai?"

Tai kept walking.

"Tai?"

He kept walking.

"Tai? Tai--"

He clenched his fists twice, listening with a strange satisfaction as the joints in his fingers made scattered popping noises, and kept walking.

"Tai?" Kari repeated, one hand playing nervously with the edge of her shirt. "Tai, you--"

Tai's ears stopped hearing three seconds after he heard his name. He cracked his neck this time, turning it this way and that, that way and this, side to side, up and down, and kept walking. They were quite a ways from their apartment building now.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!"

Tai jumped, arms jerking backwards, his shoulders hunched and his head jutted forward in a sort of full-body spasm. His eyes were huge and his teeth were gritted behind stretched lips. He stood stock-still on the sidewalk, looking like a freakishly realistic statue of a high-grade schizophrenic.

He remained frozen in that pose for a dozen seconds, then, with markedly jerky movements, he turned his head to look at his sister.

Kari smirked and let her whistle drop back against her chest, the little ball inside jingling merrily. "Tai, you forgot something."

Tai parted his still-grit teeth just enough to say "What?" before letting his jaws snap closed again.

"The money," Kari said simply.

Tai stared.

Kari rolled her eyes and rummaged in her pocket. "It's in here **somewhere**..." she muttered. "Ah! Here." She held out her hand, which was stuffed with bills of various values. "Mom told me to give it to you. It's for the fair." She smiled sweetly, and added "Just for you and me."

Tai blinked, and suddenly found he could move. He turned on one heel, took the money from his sister, and counted it. His eyes widened as he did so. It was a lot of money. A **LOT**.

"Tai, is something wrong?" Kari said. "You look weird."

"No, I'm fine," he lied, stuffing the bills in his pocket, unconsciously looking around, as if to spot some incoming pickpocket or thug who knew, just **knew**, that Taichi Kamiya had about seven months worth of allowance in his pocket. They were in the bushes, for sure, ready and waiting to jump him.

**There's no one in the bushes, dumbass,** he scolded himself. **You're just paranoid.**

**Just for you and me,** Kari had said. **Just for you and me.**

**You** and **me.**

Tai thought about the amount of money in his pocket. He grinned.

"This might be fun," he muttered to himself, rubbing his chin. "There's my share, and then there's her share...of course, it has to be even..." He did some quick math, and his grin widened. "Not bad, not bad..."

An insistent tugging--on his shirt, he realized--brought him back to planet Earth.

"Taiii..." Kari whined, tugging some more. "Are we going or not?"

Tai rubbed his hands together. "Yeah, yeah, we're going. Take my hand, all right? I don't wanna lose you."

Kari nodded and took his hand. She felt her heart flutter and her body tingle with heat as she felt the flesh of his palm and fingers close around her own.

**Today is gonna be GREAT!** she cheered silently.

* * *

"We're HERE!" Kari crowed, raising her clenched fists as high as her arms would stretch, grinning widely, her eyes shut tightly with glee. "We're here we're here we're HERE!" She jumped up and down next to Tai, who looked on with a smile.

**I haven't seen her this happy since...** he paused as something sour filled his soul. It may have been regret and remembrance, but he was unfamiliar with either one and couldn't really tell. **...since she was last with Gatomon. In fact...** Tai rubbed the tips of fingers against one another, thinking. **In fact, I don't think she's been herself for the last few weeks. She's always sitting on her bed and staring off into space nowadays. I wonder what's gotten into her...**

**Aren't** you **sad that you no longer have Agumon at your side?** an acidic voice inquired from just beyond his frontal lobe. **Don't** you **miss the one being in the universe who may have truly been destined to be your friend, from here to eternity? Haven't** you **been more than a little somber these past two months? Or have you been too busy jerking off to notice?**

**Shut up, brain.** A scowl flickered in and out of existence on Tai's face. He was more than a little bit irritated at the unrelenting Voice of Inner Tai right now, but he didn't feel like that gave him the right to ruin Kari's first truly happy day in months. He pushed the Voice into a dusty corner of his mind (where it couldn't be seen behind large boxes marked "7th Birthday" and "The Time That Cat Peed On Me In Front Of My Friends") and just soaked in Kari's undiluted happiness. It didn't take long for a genuine smile to grow on his face.

Kari looked up at her big brother, who looked back, grinning.

"Shall we?" Tai said, gesturing at the Park with both hands. "Ladies first, of course."

Kari giggled. "Of course. But only if you hold my hand again." She held it out, open and inviting.

Tai held her hand, and they entered Kichigaisakka Park.

* * *

Two sets of eyes could be heard audibly blinking.

"...whoa," Tai muttered, staring. His mouth desperately wanted to gape open, but some subconscious part of Tai said no, that would make him look like a fish. It stayed shut.

Kari, however, had succumbed to the urge, and her mouth hung open, her teeth glistening in the noon light. She, too, was staring. "...yeah. Whoa."

There was a pause, a moment of quiet between brother and sister that was quickly filled with the sounds of laughter and chatter that drifted from deeper within the Park.

In a burst of synchronized sound that was somewhere between a whoop and a laugh, Tai and Kari cheered. Some passers-by gave them the cursory "You're Crazy" looks, but neither child noticed, so engrossed were they in the sight before them.

Neon lights shined down from the signs of booths and vendors, which lined the Park's paved paths like good little soldiers around the red carpet. Each had their own ware to share, any little thing; a little something for you and the missus there, sir? These watches are solid silver, sir n' ma'am, I can give you to them at half price, I can I can.

Beyond these booths Tai could see various and sundry games, set up astride and within the path, each with their own theme. Frog Pond Toss, Ring Around the Bottle, Darts, Car Racing, Fishing...Tai's eyes danced from game to game, unconsciously taking in the prizes as he saw them. He felt a line of drool escape his now-gaping mouth as he spotted a rack of Playstation games behind the counter of a booth labeled "Aces Wild". Each row of games on the rack was denoted with a number rank: I, II, and III. On the I rack he could see a copy of Final Fantasy VIII.

He **wanted** that game.

Tai, drooling and mindless, began to wobble over to the booth, one hand groping futilely at the air, as if trying to clutch and claw at the game. He took six clumsy steps forward--

--and pain shot in wild jets across his nerves, making him stumble, the front of one foot catching on the back of the other, tipping his balance. He waved his arms in the air, trying to regain equilibrium, but the hand of Fate went ahead and pushed him, and he fell.

He landed on the stones below shoulder-first, and groaned. He held his shoulder with one hand and his ass with the other.

"What...THE..." he wheezed, rubbing a spot in the middle of his left buttock. "Kari..."

His sister stood over him, her arms crossed over her chest, a look of almost motherly amusement on her face. She looked down at him pityingly.

"You spaced out, Tai," she said. "You were like a zombie. Wipe your mouth, you're drooling." She tried not to giggle, and failed.

Tai shot her a disgruntled look as he wiped away the line of slime dripping off his chin. "Was it necessary to **pinch me**?" he barked.

Kari giggled again. "Yup."

Tai rolled his eyes and pulled himself up. "You could've just yelled at me, or something."

"I did. You didn't hear me."

"I didn't hear anything," he muttered, brushing dust off his shirt and shorts.

"That's what I just said!" Kari chirped, grinning.

Tai sighed. **Sisters.** "Look, I'm gonna go play this game over here, you stay here and--" He blinked, and looked around. "Hey, where'd you go?"

"Tai! Over here!"

Tai turned to the right. Kari was standing next to a Water Gun game, an excited look on her face.

"Tai! I wanna play **this** one!" She pulled herself onto the stool and grabbed the gun by both handles. Five other kids joined her on the other stools, each passing bills along to the operator, who pocketed them in turn.

"But Kari, I--"

The operator looked at Kari, then at Tai. He rubbed two fingers against his thumb--"money, please?" the fingers said.

Tai fought the urge to sigh and went over to pay.

* * *

Kari peered along the barrel of the water gun she held, her tongue clamped tightly in the side of her mouth and one eye closed. She was trying desperately to get her gun lined up with the little target at the bottom of the water meter before the operator could start the race. Out of one corner of her eye she could see the other kids fumbling with their guns, trying to figure out what exactly they were supposed to do with them.

She chuckled inwardly, her thumbs poised threateningly over the gun's twin buttons. She was ready to kick some ass.

In the other corner of her eye, Kari saw Tai. He was handing money over to the operator, who looked rather bemused. She didn't know it, but her brother was less than pleased with this predicament.

While half her brain was focused on keeping her gun aligned with the target, the other half dedicated itself to watching her brother, who was now standing a few feet behind and to the left of her, his hands in his pockets, all his weight resting on one leg. She didn't see the slightly annoyed expression on his face or the irritated tapping of his fingers against the insides of his pockets.

All she saw was her big brother, standing there and watching her.

Something in her chest inflated, and she snapped both of her eyes forward. She would beat this silly little game in the name of Tai, and no one could stop her! No one!

A head poked out from the other side of the game booth, and Kari's concentration slipped as her eyes automatically turned to look at the face that went with the head.

She blinked.

It was a boy, about Kari's age, with oddly pointed brown hair and equally brown eyes. He, too, was blinking, and for the same reason: both felt that, somehow, they were meeting in the wrong place and the wrong time, that they were in some way going against an unknown and unspoken rule that governed the universe.

Kari began to smile at him, then stopped. Her eyes rested on the thing in his hands.

It was a water gun that looked just like the one she held.

The boy was the enemy.

She narrowed her eyes at him.

He narrowed his eyes right back, and took one hand off his gun to point a single finger in her direction.

"I'm gonna beat you!" he said.

A fire, which had been slowly burning at a few twigs in the middle of a forest clearing in Kari's soul, exploded into an all-out blazing inferno. She shook her fist defiantly at the boy, a look of angry confidence on her face, and focused once again on the target.

Oh, that little boy was going **down**.

* * *

Tai gave the operator his most withering glare as he parted with his money. The man was thin and balding, and the area between his mouth and his nose kept doing a little twitch that reminded Tai of the twitch of a rat's snout when it smells something it likes. It was both amusing and unnerving, and Tai felt himself unconsciously edging away from the guy, who was leering as he pocketed the money.

Once he felt he was at a safe distance, Tai returned his attention to his sister, and found himself startled. She was hunched over her water gun, her arms splayed at either side of her body, elbows pointing in opposite directions. He could see the muscles of her back pushing against her shirt, and the way the tendons in her neck pulled the flesh up, looking like strings caught under silk. Sweat trickled through her hair, onto the protruding tendons and down the back of her shirt. He watched these lines of liquid as they traveled across her skin, glistening in the afternoon light.

**Whoa,** he thought.

He would have said even more if he'd been able to see her face, which was even more-tightly knit than her muscles. The expression on it was caught somewhere between frothing anger and crazed determination, which made her normally sweet face look horribly vengeful. It was rage beyond her time, something heretofore never measured or even **felt** by most children her age.

All in all, she was handling it pretty well.

**I'm gonna beat ya I'm gonna beat ya I'm gonna beat ya--** her mind ranted. **Gonna beat ya gonna beat ya gonna beat ya gonna--**

**DING!**

"And they're off!" screamed the man with the rat-twitch, taking his hand off the starter bell.

Kari's thumbs were down before the bell had gotten even halfway done DINGing. Water jetted in a thin-yet-powerful stream from the mouth of her gun like a horizontal geyser, rushing through the air, uncaring and unseeing and unfeeling and--

--and it hit the target with a THWACK! that rang in Kari's ears longer than the bell had. Instantly the blue water in the tubular meter a few inches above began to rise, rise, RISE!

Her ears full of THWACK!, her eyes full of red, and her heart full of love, Kari fought with all her young might to keep her stream straight and true and on the target, which was barely half the size of a quarter. Through the plastic of her meter she could see the--

--ENEMY--

--little boy on the other side. He was glaring at her fiercely, his teeth gritted against one another, his eyes hidden behind a red haze that seemed to have invaded and conquered most of his upper face. The water in his own meter was less than an inch short of Kari's, and gaining. He snarled soundlessly at her and hunched even closer to his gun.

Her stream wavered and hit the paneling just to the left of the target, water splattering all over her. The boy's meter was now a mere centimeter away from catching up to her own.

Kari fought the urge to snarl back and, with titanic effort, forced herself to focus once again on the target before her. The target was all. There was nothing else. The target was all.

ALL.

The stream realigned itself with the target, and her meter jetted up in a sudden burst of manic speed that spread the gap between her and the boy and--

**DING**

Kari blinked. The THWACK! left her ears, the red dropped from her eyes (the love, however, faded gently and sweetly away), and she suddenly felt like she'd never been so relaxed and peaceful in all her life. She looked around, taking in all the disappointed kids that were shambling away, the flashing lights at the top of her meter, and the sound of Tai congratulating her. This last she latched onto immediately as she carefully pushed herself off the stool, which was a bit too high for her, and landed gracefully on the ground. She grinned up at her brother, who grinned back, and in that moment she felt that all the world was well and good.

Then someone ran up behind her and kicked her in the ass.

* * *

Kari was just hitting the top of her arc when her brain kicked in and finally began to tell her that, yes, you WERE just kicked in the ass, and yes, you DID go flying, and yeah, sure, you ARE gonna kill whoever's responsible when you land.

It was only as the arc was reaching its end that Kari realized she was not going to be landing on her feet, oh no. Her arms pinwheeled wildly in a desperate attempt to push herself into some other position, any position, just so she wouldn't end up--

--she hit the ground face-first, shredding a knee and an elbow on the same side and cutting her chin open so that it gushed blood and she bit her tongue filling her mouth with bitter copper taste--

Kari groaned, and slumped.

* * *

Tai had just been approaching his sister to congratulate her when she had suddenly became airborne. He stopped short and watched with startled awe as she rose up into the air, peaked, hanging in the air over the concrete, caught in time, and then came back down--

--HARD.

He heard her groan--a sharply agonizing sound that shook him to his bones and made his skin crawl as if made of writhing maggots--and in an instant was there by her side, pulling her to her feet, hands unconsciously checking her for injuries.

He saw her cut chin, and the ragged blossoms of blood that were her knee and elbow, and anger swelled like a thunderous roar in his belly. Who would dare? Who would **dare**? How dare--

Tai's head snapped from side to side look for the culprit.

He found one, and growled.

A little boy with strangely-pointed brown hair stood, shaking, not five feet away. His fists were clenched tightly enough to make the fingernails bite into the skin of his palm, and his face was consumed by a shifting red haze, which threatened to rip from his face, ignite, and burn everything around him. His teeth were gnashing, enamel clashing against enamel, while his tongue flailed like a caught snake in his mouth. His eyes, while hidden behind the haze, were undoubtedly glaring at the little girl with the cut chin and bleeding knee and elbow, who was now coughing violently. He didn't seem to notice Tai, who was holding onto his sister tightly and glaring at the little shit with all his brotherly fury.

This boy's remaining time on Earth was now very short indeed. 

"Are you okay?" Tai muttered, never taking his gaze off the boy.

Kari gave a hacking wheeze of a cough, then nodded. Tai could see her shooting fiery glares at the boy between coughs, and knew with angry clarity that she was on the verge of tears.

"Put some pressure on your chin and knee, okay?" Tai whispered to her, moving her hands even as he instructed her. "There. That'll make the blood stop if you do it long enough." His eyes found the boy again, and narrowed. "I'll be right back..."

Tai stood, took a grand total of five steps, grabbed the kid by the shirt and slammed him against a nearby light pole. He watched with a mixture of loathing and excitement as the haze dropped out of the kid's face, which was suddenly slack with fear. The kid's hands wrapped around Tai's wrists and struggled to push him away. Tai's grip tightened and he thrust the brat up against the pole a little. The hands dropped and the boy began to shake.

He pulled the kid up close so their faces were only inches apart.

"Don't ever touch my sister again, you **hear me**?" he snarled.

A glob of snot was jolted from the kid's nose as he nodded vigorously. He looked ready to cry, like he was about to crack, but Tai wasn't finished just yet.

"I didn't **hear** you."

The boy swallowed and Tai could hear his teeth chatter. "I'm never guh-guh-gonna touch your sister again," he blathered, the stuttered consonant knocking the snot free. It landed on the kid's shirt and began to dribble down. "I puh-promise."

Tai grinned, and it must have been a horrid thing to see, because the kid started to bawl seconds later. He lifted the kid as high into the air as he could, ready to drop him--

"DAVIE! There you are!"

--and then a girl with rather big hair ran over and snatched the boy out of his hands, spun around with the goober in her arms, and hugged him tightly.

Tai blinked.

* * *

Sometime between blinking and seeing the girl had turned, and now faced Tai. He took the barest look at her face before his eyes dipped down and instantaneously locked themselves on her breasts, which quivered tantalizingly under her thin, pink cotton shirt. So round, so so round...

He noticed he could see the points of her nipples pressing against the tight fabric, and half his brain slumped into a numb void, a black hole of conscious thought. His mouth hung slightly open, his breath coming and going in thin puffs. His penis, which had remained flaccid and quiet since Kari had barged into his room, rose with a cry of glee in his shorts and dived for those beautiful tits.

A giggle--girly and somehow sensual--brought Tai's eyes back up, and when he found himself looking into the girl's face, he blushed wildly and looked away.

The girl smirked--he saw that out of the corner of his eye--and he suddenly felt a strong desire to run like hell. He dared a glance back in that direction, and felt a sneer tug violently at his lips.

Little Davie was clinging to the girl's leg, his face simultaneously indignant and fearful. His lower lip trembled like an old fogey's hand. His eyes were shiny with crocodile tears. He looked ready to piss himself.

**But,** Tai thought, **he also looks a bit too victorious to be really scared, doesn't he? Little fucker's faking.**

He looked back at the girl, and wished he hadn't. The smirk had grown into a grin, and it was a shark's grin, one that smiled and snarled all at once, then tore you limb from limb.

"My name is June," she said, sticking out her hand. "Nice to meet you."

Tai took the hand with more than a little trepidation. "I'm Tai. It's...nice to meet you, too." **Oh, how I wish I could mean that,** he thought, eyes on her chest again. **Oh, how I wish.**

They shook hands, and Tai could feel how soft her hand was, and his head filled with helium and his dick with blood. He shuddered when that hand left his, and wondered if this was how all girls made you feel, so hot and clingy and uncomfortable in your own clothes.

Suddenly she was on him, all **over** him, her arms wrapped tightly around his midsection and her breasts pressed right up against his chin, where they made him feel all tingly and sweaty, and then he realized she was kissing him, that her lips were on his cheek and she was **kissing** him--

"OW!" they screamed together.

* * *

Kari brought her foot back down to the ground, a look of protectively self-righteous loathing on her face, which was pulled tight in a grimace that made her features so out of proportion that looking at it was akin to looking into some furious caricature. She snarled--Tai thought later that it sounded remarkably like a cat's screech--and grabbed June's shirt.

"GET. OFF. MY. BROTHER," she roared.

Birds fled their perches in the trees above. Children screamed in terror over in the next street. One geriatric a few blocks away keeled over and died. A young businessman who happened to by passing through pissed himself. The whole park shook with the sound of Kari's lioness yell.

June, who'd been the focus of Kari's aural attack, just stood there, her arms slack around Tai. Her knees knocked, and all of a sudden she realized that it was in no way safe for her to continue to be where she was.

"Er..." she murmured, slowly pulling her body from Tai's as she spoke. "Um...thank you for finding little Davie here...and...um..." Her eyes darted from left to right. "I...uh...havetogonowbye!" She leapt from Tai, pushing him backwards and nearly knocking him off his feet, flashed over to little Davie, took his hand, and ran the hell outta there.

"Hey, wait--" Tai yelled, far too late. In a wink she was gone, the only sign of her passage a swirling trail of dust, curling into a tan spiral in the air. Watching the spiral twirl in upon itself, tightening into a single brown knot, Tai realized with half his mind that he'd just been robbed of his first semi-sexual experience.

A low rumbling sound to his right brought Tai back to the situation at hand. He slowly turned to face his sister, a slipping state of dread dropping into his gut.

It further fell, and passed right through him like some emotional diarrhea.

Kari patted her stomach, which growled again in open defiance. She looked pitifully at Tai, her other hand clenching and unclenching.

"Tai, can we go get some food?"

Tai nearly fell flat on his face.

"Um...yeah, sure," he said, smiling shakily. **Now what had all** that **been about?** he wondered as he held Kari's hand. **She looked PISSED.** "What do you want to eat?"

Kari screwed up her face, one eye squinching closed. Tai was suddenly taken by how undeniably cute she looked with her face in such a horrendous figuration.

"...can we get some pizza?"

"Sounds good." Tai grinned. He'd had a hankering for pie himself. He started off in the direction of the pizza vendor, which he knew was in the park often, then realized with a start that his sister wasn't with him--again.

"Dammit all--"

"Hold on, Tai, I have to get my prize!"

Tai slapped his forehead. They'd nearly walked away without the prize, the whole reason he'd been dragged through all this in the first place!

"'Kay, got it!" Kari chirped as she ran back to him.

Tai looked at her, and his eyes bugged when he saw what she was holding.

"Do you like it?" Kari asked cheerfully.

"It" was a massive pink bear nearly as big as Kari herself. Its eyes were big black 's and its shiteating smile was just an equally black curved line. It was pink to the point of neon, and covered in little sparkles and laces and cute rainbow tassels. It wore a bright yellow blouse that was lacier than any wedding dress and covered in more sequins than Jessica Rabbit's infamous red slip.

Tai fought the urge to vomit and laugh at the same time. "Of course I like it!" he lied. "It's great!"

"Here, you can have it!" she said, and shoved it into his arms.

Tai blushed and tried to push the gaudy bear away from himself. "Er, no, that's okay K--"

But Kari wasn't there. She was already running up the path, heading for the unseen pizza vendor.

Tai stood there, the bear shining and sparkling in his arms, blinked, and then broke into a run after her.

"KARI!"

* * *

Kari could hear her brother behind her as she weaved her way through a forest of legs, and could hear, even louder, the grumblings and whinings of the people the poor boy was pushing past. She couldn't see much from where she was, but she knew where she was going. It wasn't her first time in this park.

An especially hairy knee bulged in her vision, and Kari jerked away from it, barely avoiding having her nose knocked in. She laid a slap on the side of the person's thigh then slid away before the slapee decided to return the favor.

"KARI!"

Grinning, she brushed her short brown hair away from her eyes and kept moving, knowing it was around here somewhere, somewhere...

"KARI!"

She stuck the fleshy edge of her palm in her mouth and bit down on it lightly, her mouth grinning around her teeth. She ducked between a pair of slacks and two very shapely legs as she tried to keep herself from giggling madly with anticipation. She nearly shook with the force of her contained chortles, which threatened to burst from her like frenzied atomic particles.

"KARI!"

**Uh-oh.** Tai was getting closer. She squeezed between two pairs of legs that were exceptionally close--were, in fact, rubbing against one another. She glanced up as she literally passed through, and grinned as she saw it was a kissing couple. Then she realized that both were men, blinked, and quickly continued her trek through the tangle of limbs, ignoring the cries of anger that came from above whenever she happened to trod upon a toe or two.

"KARI, COME BACK HERE!"

**Sheesh, he's** close **all of a sudden...when did** that **happen?** Kari thought as she edged around a giggle of girls with ice cream cones, making nervous "eh..." noises as drops of cream slid off the scoops and descended through the air, passing dangerously close to her.

She stepped out of the forest and into the free air, and sighed happily.

All was going to plan...

* * *

Tai's struggles through the throng were infuriating and embarrassing on an infinite amount of levels. The most basic of these were gathered in a simple triad: irritation at his sister for just running off like that, infuriation at the people congesting this part of park, and embarrassment from being laughed at by the aforementioned people. The disgustingly cute stuffed animal in his arms was the source for that laughter. Tai desperately wanted to just toss the thing into the air and run from it as fast as he could, but he knew the consequences. He didn't like to see **that** look on Kari's face; it made him feel as though he was the biggest prick in the universe.

Someone chuckled behind him, and Tai blushed. He did his best to ignore it, though, and continued to push his way through.

Suddenly his hand flailed into open air, and he stumbled out of the crowd and into a concrete clearing--and right into his sister.

"Kari! There you are!" He put a hand on her shoulder, hoping it would prevent her from dashing away again. "Don't ever do that a--" He blinked, and opened and closed his hand. Nothing. She was gone. "--gain." He scowled, his eyes drooping half-closed and his shoulders slumping. "..."

He was glad to see that, this time, she hadn't gone too far. The pizza vendor--just a little metal rolling cart with a canopy, and a little menu clipped to one support rod--was maybe twelve feet away. The guy behind it wore a burgundy red apron and a lot of even redder pimples, each of which gleamed nastily in the sun. He grinned at Kari when she poked her head over the top of the cart, her eyes travelling across the three pies that laid on the surface, trails of steam rising up from them. As Tai neared the cart, he noticed that the guy's teeth were chained with bright silver braces.

"What can I get you?" the guy asked. His voice was surprisingly deep and solid. It didn't seem to belong in the body it inhabited.

Kari eyed each pie, then pointed at the middle one.

"Pepperoni it is, then." He slipped a slice from its place in the pizza and onto a flimsy paper plate, the bottom of which was immediately soaked with grease. He handed this to Kari, who took it with both hands.

The guy--no more than a kid, really--glanced up at Tai and grinned again. "And for you?"

"Um..." Tai examined his options. "Sausage."

"Gotcha." He got the slice and gave it to Tai, grinning ceaselessly.

Tai noted that, while the smile never shifted, the guy's eyes slipped down to the bear, widened slightly, then returned all-too-quickly to Tai's face. He felt irritation tickle at his brain, but did his best to shake it off and grin back at the guy. "Thanks. How much do I owe you?"

The guy told him, and Tai stuffed the bear into his armpit and reached into his pocket--

"Why thank you, little lady."

Tai blinked as Kari passed the vendor some bills, who in turn passed her her change. She grinned innocently at him and tilted her head to the right. "Let's go sit down."

Tai nodded. He wanted to put that stupid bear down, and **quick**.

"Let's go."

* * *

They walked together, side by side, towards the tables, which were clustered opposite the pizza vendor. The whole area was just a rectangle of concrete surrounded by bushes and trees that stretched far too high for most people to see over. Two sides of the rectangle were lined with vendors--for ice cream, pizza, hot dogs, ramen, and other such fast foods. The next side was lined with tables of the same make and model. All were circular in nature, all curves and rounded edges, and each one was topped with a massive umbrella. A few dozen people, in groups or couplets or, occasionally, alone, were scattered among these tables. They chatted and chirped and sat silently alone without end.

Kari took the initiative and led the way, heading for a table in the corner. Tai followed without heed; he didn't really care where they sat.

There were three seats. Tai placed the bear in one and dropped down into the chair closest to it. He realized his feet were aching, and fought his immediate urge to kick off his shoes and tenderize his soles a bit. He took a bite of his pizza instead.

Kari climbed into the chair and placed her napkinned slice on the table. She gazed at it for a little bit, picked it up, and nibbled on it. Her appetite had somehow evaporated into thin air. She wiggled uncomfortably in her seat, her shirt swishing back and forth.

Tai ripped another chunk of pie off his slice and chewed slowly. Grease began to seep between his teeth, and shreds of cheese slid down his throat. He leaned forward, his elbow resting heavily on the table. His head lay in his hand, cycling up and down with every rise and fall of his jaw.

Kari's hands gripped the edges of her chair as she wiggled some more. Her gaze rested on her feet, which were kicking at the air under the table. It rose only long enough for her to notice the obscuring wall made by the long branches and green leaves of a very ambitious bush. Once this information had been noted and recorded her eyes returned to her feet.

Tai was contemplating the cash in his pocket. If he could just convince his sister to let him go back to that one game and try his luck, all would be well and good. Kinda. It'd be even better if he knew, without a doubt, that he could actually get that game.

**Someone's won it already, I bet,** he decided with a scowl. **Yeah. Someone else got it. They're probably at home right now, playing it. Yeah. It was a lost cause. It's too late now.**

Kari's hands were turning white as her grip on the chair tightened and tightened. She was unconsciously gnawing on her upper lip, which was beaded with sweat. The salty taste of it didn't register in her mind in the slightest. A breeze ran its course across her body, and she shuddered involuntarily. The feel of even that mildest of winds was like an Arctic gale on her skin.

**Now? Do I now? Now?** she thought frantically. **What about now?**

Tai chewed and gulped down the crust of his pizza, then burped. He grimaced for a moment, then his mind returned to its pessimism and his face was slack again.

**Now.**

Tai blinked as he felt the table shake and rattle underneath his arm, scattering his thoughts to the farthest reaches of his brain. He looked up, blinked twice confusedly, and said "Hey, why are you on the tabl--"

His words became white noise as his sister's lips touched his.

* * *

**END ACT I**

* * *

Fall is here, hear the yell

Back to school, ring the bell

Brand new shoes, walking blues

Climb the fence, books and pens

I can tell that we are gonna be friends

Walk with me, Suzy Lee

Through the park, and by the tree

We will rest upon the ground

And look at all the bugs we've found

Then safely walk to school

Without a sound

Well here we are, no one else

We walked to school all by ourselves

There's dirt on our uniforms

From chasing all the ants and worms

We clean up and now it's time to learn

Numbers, letters, learn to spell

Nouns, and books, and show and tell

At playtime we will throw the ball

Back to class, through the hall

Teacher marks our height

Against the wall

And we don't notice any time pass

We don't notice anything

We sit side by side in every class

Teacher thinks that I sound funny

But she likes the way you sing

Tonight I'll dream while I'm in bed

When silly thoughts go through my head

About the bugs and alphabet

And when I wake tomorrow I'll bet

That you and I will walk together again

Cause I can tell that we

Are going to be friends

--"We're Going To Be Friends," by** The White Stripes**

**All feedback can be sent to **


	2. Act II: Truth Doesn't Make A Noise

This is not a lemon, but it sure comes close. I mean, like, real close. It's mere millimeters from lemonry-but it remains on the clean side of the line...well, the slightly clean side, anyway.

This story contains strange, unconventional things. You have been forewarned.

I do not own Digimon. I do, however, own a large plot of land in Antarctica. Or so my lawyer tells me.

This is Season 01, or, rather, shortly thereafter.

And on with the show!

* * *

**I JUST LOVE YOU**

**Act II: Truth Doesn't Make A Noise**

written by

agz

Tai was having some trouble processing current events.

_My sister is kissing me._ The thought rose up from the bottom of his brain like a balloon. The higher it went, the more frantic Tai became, until it bumped against the top of his skull and he just flipped out.

_My sister is kissing me, my SISTER is kissing me, my goddamn SISTER is kissing me!_

The balloon in Tai's head swelled like a rapidly-growing tumor, the string dangling down into his spine and sending jitters throughout his whole body. _My sister, my sister, sister sister sister sister-_

Kari moaned, and shifted forward, slipping her upper lip between her brother's.

_SISTER._

The balloon popped with a _BANG!_ that delved deep into the split between the halves of Tai's brain, cracking it with a sickly ripping sound that filled the boy's ears. His eyes went blank and dull, reflecting nothing, looking like pools of contained, stagnant brown sludge. As his left hemisphere began to break up, his eyes closed slowly, lids descending before his muddy eyes like garage doors. He slumped slightly, his forehead resting against Kari's, as he completely lost control of his thoughts.

Behind his heavy lids, the world became a backdrop of hazy pink, in front of which a shapely shadowed figure stood, arms spread wide and high, a massive flop of hair hanging between. Tai began to approach the figure, not walking or running, but seemingly floating towards it, as if propelled through space. As he neared, he realized that he was clothed and the figure was not, and that all the bits thought best covered in common society were right there in the open.

With this realization a small, round bulge appeared on the crotch of Tai's shorts, traveled up across the crease made by the zipper, and flipped up into position with the soft sound of shifting cloth. Huzzah, instant hard-on!

Back in his uniformly pink universe, Tai's scrambled mind was only just realizing that the figure was June. She gave him a mischievous wink, but he just barely saw it before his eyes dropped down to her chest. Visions of June's sugarplums dancing in his head, he leaned over and began to nibble upon her sweets. His hand gave one of the imaginary girl's buttocks a hard squeeze, and from there Tai was completely lost in the lustful fantasy.

Kari, too, had her eyes closed, but not to escape the goings on. On the contrary, they were shut to further savor the situation, which was, in the girl's mind, quickly approaching nirvana, heaven, Eden, pick a paradise, any paradise, they'll all do!

_Is this how it's always like?_ she mused. _Will I fly every time I kiss?_

Soaring in her head though she was, she was really on all fours on the table, her right knee crushing her partially-eaten slice into a cheesy, greasy, pasty mess. In some part of her mind she registered the heat of the sauce seeping into the folds of her flesh, but that hardly mattered. She was riding the sky, friends and felons. She was gone.

Panting lightly, she slid her tongue past Tai's lips and caressed his teeth.

Reality, being a bitter and honest thing, chose to break away the shell of daydream at the pinnacle of Kari's flight.

A vibration on his lips, a foreign slug in his mouth. That was all it took to crack the fantasy.

It began with the nipple Tai was ever-so-eagerly consuming. In the blink of an eye he knew it was really his sister's lip he was gnawing on, not the older girl's nub. After that, the façade that was dream-June melted into ethereal slime that dripped and oozed into some invisible hole, where it was forever lost to the senseless boy.

From there, things snowballed.

The pink universe cracked, pieces of mental eggshell falling away to reveal the true world, where his sister was presently sucking face-namely his own. Orange light flooded his protective bubble, drowning the pink in fire, turning it all to ashes.

Now there was nothing between Tai and Truth.

He opened his eyes, which were quickly filled with more orange-had time really flown that fast? Had the sun really shifted so much? Was it really that late-and took in the new connection he and his sister had just made, one of the lips and tongue.

He blinked.

He_ screamed_.

True, it was muffled, and true, it was really no more than a panicked squeaking cry, but it was all it took to shoot Kari out of the sky.

Mind, heart, soul, and all hope plummeted like stricken ducks as Kari jerked her face away, eyes snapping wide to stare bleakly into her brother's face. She sat on her knees on the table, the mutilated slice giving out one final squeal as it was ground against the plastic surface, hands unconsciously coming to rest on her thighs.

She looked into Tai's eyes, and burst into tears.

In the same instant, Tai let out a roar that was more fear than fury, frightening only in that his utterance was:

_"-KARI-"_

By the time her name stopped echoing, the girl was gone.

* * *

Realization was never something to come swiftly to Tai. This case was no different. 

For minutes he sat there, just staring at the spot in the air where his sister had been, wondering if there was such a thing as reality, and if there was, why the hell did it have to do THAT to HIM? Why, world, oh why? What was your intent? What did you want? What's the point?

_I'm being punished, that's what it is,_ he concluded blankly. _I've sinned by way of pornography, and now I'm being punished. Yes, that's it. What else could it be?_

He moved his head off his chin and looked down, unblinking, at his hands. With these, he had done much damage. Maybe he would go blind? How many kittens had he killed? Was he, for now and eternity, impotent, sterile, childless? Was he to go through life shooting blanks because he decided to partake in the sins of the palm instead of having sex within the sanctity of marriage? Was he doomed?

_Is all lost?_ he wondered. _Is it all for nothing?_

"Am I evil?"

This last he spoke without knowing, and although no one heard, he still cringed. It was a valid question, now wasn't it? Was he a soulless sex fiend? A doujinshi addict? Could he pull himself out of this spiral? Was it not too late? Was there the possibility of retribution through repentance?

When Kari and I get home, I'm going to go into my room, gather up all my doujins, and tear them, one by one, to shreds. Then I will go up on the roof and burn them in a trashc-

_KARI._

His despairing thoughts of sin were flushed from his brain, and even more desperate thoughts of Kari's fate and the predicament they were both in now became his new focus.

_She's gone._

_She's gone in a place full of Unknowns-Strangers, People We Don't Know, Child Molesters, Kiddy Thieves, Pedophiles, I bet they're all here. She could be Gone. Worse, she could be being Used. As I sit here, the sour aftertaste of cheap pizza burning my tongue, she is probably being raped. Yes, that's it, she's being Raped. And here I am. Why am I here? Why do I continue to sit? I have to get up._

_She's gone. You can't do anything_.

_Sure I can. I can find her. Or her remains, whatever's left._

_She's not dead, dumbass! She's alive! She's just scared!_

_Oh? And why is she scared? Might it be because YOU YELLED AT HER?_

_"Screamed" is a better word._

_Oh, you're mighty helpful, aren't you?_

_WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!_

_We do what we must._

_Which is?_

_Find_

_her_

_NOW.  
_

The chair he'd been sitting in flew back from the table, rolled, tipping end over end, then hung in the air, legs raised high, balanced on a point, and clattered against the ground.

Before the rattle of the chair had finished, Tai had disappeared-as had his thoughts of blaming his collection of hand-drawn hentai for his present troubles.

One thing remained, however, and it rang in his mind like a gong's resonating tones:

_Am I evil?_

* * *

Tai dashed across the food court, intent on locating Kari as quickly as possible, and, if necessary, to defend her in any way he had to to keep her safe and whole. He was on a holy mission, one given to him by some metaphysical (or maybe ectoplasmic?) higher-up. Nothing could stop him. He was invincible. Unstoppable. Courageous and dauntless and- 

And then he saw the crowded path, and realized-

_I've got no idea which way she went._

He stopped and stood there, staring at this centipedal, shifting swarm of Homo sapiens, the one thing standing between him and finding his sister. Ominous though the sight was, his sense of purpose remained unshifting.

As he saw it, there were two possibilities: to the left, or to the right. The question was, which way?

He looked to the left. The centipede scrambled across the manmade path.

He looked to the right. More of the same. How repressing.

_Left or right? One way goes back to the entrance, the other...I don't know where the other goes...if I go one way, but that isn't the way Kari went, I'll just be wasting time and putting her into more danger._

_Pick a direction, just DO SOMETHING._

_But what if I go the wrong w-_

"Hey."

Tai blinked, then looked behind him.

The pizza guy waved at him, half-grinning. "She went thataway." He pointed.

Tai frowned, and pointed in the same direction.

The guy nodded, pointed once more, then turned away to tend to a new customer.

Tai's frown deepened. He turned to face the centipede again, turned back to give the pizza guy a doubtful look, turned back again, took two steps back, and ran full-speed towards the path, arms trailing behind him like the strings of balloons.

He pushed deep into that dark mass.

This second trip into the crowd found Tai struggling against two separate flows of people, who, though mindless in their movement, nonetheless seemed to be actively working against him. As he pulled and pushed and shoved his way past one person after another, he was constantly knocked into, sometimes mistakenly, sometimes with most ill intent. His head alone received several good whacks, sending it flailing from left to right. Bodies pounded into his sides, making him careen all over the path.

By the time he stumbled out of that mass he was horribly dizzy and sore. The horizon twisted and turned in his vision. The lines between the white bricks that made up the path began to curve and spiral. His eyes rolled around in his head.

He had pushed straight through the centipede, and now his body throbbed as a result.

_"HEY THERE, LITTLE MAN!"_

Tai, still ungainly and discombobulated, stared up at a garishly ghastly ghoul. It's red nose and white skin made its face seem to glow like the ethereal flesh of a ghost. The sun reflecting off its silver suit (which looked like a big Mylar trashbag with sleeves) made him flinch and look up-where six orange pompoms cycled through the air. They passed from one of the creature's hands to the other.

_"HEY! HOW YA DOIN'?"_ it screamed, leaning in close to Tai's face, still juggling the pompoms, grinning at him with teeth that were even whiter than its dead face. "_YOU LOOK DOWN, LITTLE MAN! WHAT'S UP? LOSE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?"_

Tai pushed the loud clown away with both hands, sending the awful visage of its face back and away. The pompoms rose in the air-and dropped to the ground with soft_ pff_ sounds.

"Get away from me!" the boy screamed, hands still held out in front of him. "Get away!"

The clown gave him a scowl that defied his painted-on smile. "Fine, kid. Just settle down!" He got up, dusted himself off, and retrieved his pompoms. "Jeez, kids these days..."

Tai didn't bother to watch the madcap man go. He was too busy-

desperately looking for Kari-

examining his surroundings.

He was standing on the edge of a large, semi-circular, paved area of the park. He could see a good deal of booths scattered in-between all the people walking around; they appeared to be for dealers, not games. A Ferris wheel spun on its axis to the far right, and on the far left a couple massive concrete cubes-generic park buildings with generic park architecture (i.e., none to speak of)-sat like a child's discarded building blocks. Somewhere behind the Ferris the sound of roller coaster cars rumbling along a track could be heard waving in and out of range. Shrubs and trees lined the borders of this area, an attempt by the creator to make it look alive with vegetation.

It was neither the booths nor the rides that Tai's mind focused on. It was the people. Or, more specifically, the amount of people.

_There's too many. Too many. Way too many._ His eyes bulged as he took it all in. _I'll never find her in here._

_Oh, but everyone who isn't supposed to find her will, won't they? a sneaky, serpentine voice hissed in his ear. They'll find her and take her and strip her and rape her and kill her and it'll BE ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT, won't it TAI! You'll be ALL TO BLAME! ALL YOUR FAULT! YOURS! YOURS AND YOURS ALONE!_

_Not my fault. Not my fault. Not my fault,_ his mind rambled against that insidious voice. _No, it's not my fault, it isn't, it can't be, I didn't DO anything to her!_

_You let her kiss you._

His head twitched to the side. _No._

_Yes, it sneered. Yes, yes, yes. You let her do it. And you got an ERECTION! A grand ol' BONER! And you've still got it, don't you? It's still bouncing around in your shorts, isn't it? Flopping to and fro, a happy little sex-stick! What do you say to that, Tai? What do you say?_

_I say go to hell,_ he thought with clenched teeth. _And stop bothering me, I've got to find my sister_.

_YOU WON'T FIND HER SHE'S DEAD YOU WON'T-_

_SHADDAP._

Tai gave the area one last scrutinizing look, then stepped up to the side of the closest booth. The owner, a burly man with a buzzcut, raised an eyebrow at him.

"Have you seen a little girl about this high...?"

* * *

Twenty minutes passed in stealth as Tai ran from booth to booth, asking the same question at each one, and receiving the same answer in return. Between booths he'd ask the people walking around, and they, too, would respond with the exact same words: 

"No, I haven't seen her. Sorry."

And then they'd move on, leaving the boy-working on becoming a young man-to continue his search with despair digging ever deeper into him, stabbing and cutting into his hope until it lay dead, blood pooling beneath it from wounds that cut down right to the bone. That bone was stripped clean, and then broken, marrow flying.

And lo, the lifeless corpse of hope is known as dread.

Tai stumbled up to the next booth, his legs aching, his head clouded by worry and growing fatigue. He leaned against the booth, trying to regain whatever energy he could. He looked up, eyes bleary, and said, without even looking at the owner, "Have you seen a little girl this high-" He raised his hand to about Kari's height. "-with brown hair down to here, brown eyes, wearing a yellow shirt and pink shorts?"

The answer came. He sighed, pushed away from the booth, took two steps and stopped dead. He turned his head to look back at the owner. "What did you just say?"

The owner pointed with one long-nailed finger. "I said, 'I think I saw her go in there.'"

Tai followed the finger, eyes widening as realization dawned on him. "Oh. Thank you."

She peered at him. "Kid, are you all right? You look like shit."

Tai gave her a blank look.

She shook her head and waved her hands in the air. "Fine, fine, I won't ask. Just go." When he continued to stand there, looking blankly, she made a shooing gesture with her hands. "Go!"

He went. With steps that grew steadily more stable and speedy, he went, his head clearing, eyes focusing, and all the aches and pains invading his body retreating in defeat. Adrenaline, oh adrenaline, how we love thee.

He charged right up to one of the blocky park buildings and stopped in front of the door. A blue circle with a white stick figure of a person wearing a skirt etched into it was nailed to the surface. The ladies' lavatory. He took the doorknob in one hand.

Suddenly, all sound seemed to drop away. The buzz of human activity ceased to exist in the park. Human heartbeats grew quiet and breathing stilled. It was as if all the Earth's atmosphere had been swiftly siphoned away and replaced by a noiseless, airless vacuum.

A vacuum in which Tai was the Great Attractor.

Tai suddenly felt very, very self-conscious.

There was a baby of nine months in a stroller just to his left whom he was sure was staring at him. The mother pushing the stroller was gazing at him with wide eyes. A passing single father gaped at him as he walked past, head turning to remain focused on him. Everyone around him was looking at his hand on that shiny silver doorknob, or at the blue-and-white emblem on the door. He felt a sudden rush of heat in his fingers, and knew that even the sun was staring.

_It's in my mind it's not real none of it is real none of it don't think about it don't don't don't even consider it don't don't don't think about it don't don't don't even muse upon it don't don't don't' don't don't DON'T THINK ABOUT IT._

His resolve firmed, he gripped the knob tighter and began to turn.

"Mommy, why is that boy standing there?" queried a little girl.

His resolve faltered, his fingers went slack.

_This is so childish,_ he thought, squeezing his eyes shut tight. _I need to go in there. I need to find Kari, and if this is the last place anyone saw her, this would have to be my best bet so far._

_So just step inside._

_I can't!_

_DO IT._

The knob turned. The boy entered.

* * *

Tai stepped inside- 

and was rewarded with a sudden revelation: this place didn't stink of urine with a faint trace of feces, like a men's room would. Instead, there was the sickly-sweet smell of mixed perfumes, a noxious miasma of thick and fruity smells, accented by the bitter odor of hairspray. It had its own stench, for sure, but it was an almost pleasant trade-off.

Once in, Tai took one step and froze again, his body caught between the door and the frame, the knob pressing into his belly. What if there was someone else inside? What if there were grown women in there? What could he possibly say that wouldn't have them instantly breathing down his neck? It was foolhardy to think that "Hey, don't mind me, I'm just here to find my sister. Why isn't she with me? Well, y'see, she kissed me on the lips, and then I yelled at her, and..." would go over very well with the more motherly types. He was bound to get knocked upside the head with a heavy purse for just about anything he said. He wasn't even supposed to be in this bathroom in the first place, now was he?

What to do, what to do...

"Screw it." He moved forward and into the room, letting the door fall into place with a louder-than-life clicking sound. He winced, shoulder jerking up towards his face, and half-turned to glare balefully at the door.

Something made a soft shifting sound in the bathroom behind him.

Tai's body tried to jump and spin at the same time. This resulted in one ankle catching on the other and sending him crashing, ass-first, to the ground. The spot where he'd been pinched earlier cried out at the sudden impact, and he let out a tiny wail of protest.

The sound of his cry echoed in the tiled room, then faded into nothingness, leaving him all alone in the silence.

Tai just sat there on the floor, staring at the tile between his legs. He sat, and waited for some matronly woman of thirty or forty to come stampeding out of one of the stalls, screech at him, and clobber him good with her handbag.

No such thing happened. Eventually he looked up and, detecting no one in sight or in sound, got up. There was an insistent pulsing pain coursing through both of his buttocks, but he felt he could stand (ha-ha) that without much effort.

The bathroom was divided into two halves: on one side there was a row of sinks and soap dispensers, on the other a line of salmon-colored stalls. Both stretched from the far wall to about five feet from the door, where they stopped abruptly. The fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling were almost blindingly bright, and did not allow for the existence of shadows. They cast a bluish hue across everything in the room. Tai had to blink several times before his eyes adjusted to the light, and even then was forced to keep his eyes down.

Eyes half-squinted, he stared at the stalls.

"Kari, are you in here?"

Echo, echo, echo, no reply.

He took one step, two steps, three steps, four. He now stood in front of the first stall. "Kari?" He pushed on the door-

Empty. One step, two steps. Push-

Empty. One step, two steps. Push-

Empty. One step, two steps. Push-

Empty. And on, and on, and on. He passed by two stalls whose doors were already ajar, a hefty lump rising like a freight elevator in his esophagus. Maybe the lady with the long nails had been wrong. Maybe he'd misinterpreted her directions. Maybe he'd gone into the wrong building. Maybe the lady had seen a different girl, one who'd already left the bathroom when he'd come in. Maybe maybe maybe maybe.

Maybe she was in this last stall.

The lump settled into place just below his vocal cords as he stretched his arm out and pushed on the door-

opening the stall, which was just as empty as all the others.

She wasn't in here.

_Damn. It._

The lump rose, lodging in his throat and nearly choking him. He made a nasty noise and held a hand to his mouth. He'd almost thrown up. That would've been pretty. A puke-covered boy, wandering around, looking for his sister. Yeah, in that get-up he could get ALL the help he wanted.

"Dammit Kari, where _are_ you?" he muttered, and shuffled over to the door.

He had his hand on the knob when a heavy thump filled the room with its sudden, rocking clamor.

The lump disintegrated. His eyes widened, and he turned-this time successfully-and half-walked, half-ran back between the rows of stalls and sinks.

"Kari!"

No reply.

"Kari, I know you're in here." He stuck his head into that first stall, examining every inch of it before moving on to the next. "C'mon, Kari, come out." Second and third stalls were empty. "Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you. You surprised the hell out of me." The fourth and fifth stalls were vacant, as well, and he felt the lump reappear in the pit of his stomach. "Kari, please come out." He ran his tongue over his lips, which had chapped considerably in the past thirty seconds. "C'mon, stop screwing around. You're scaring me. C'mon." He heard his voice crack on the second 'C'mon,' and he knew he was sweating like a pig, and that his face was flushed from running around, but he didn't care. What did it matter how he looked, or if his fear was showing through the cracks?

He just wanted to know his sister was safe.

He poked his head into the sixth stall, looked forward, looked right, looked down, looked left, looked up, and STARED.

And then he laughed.

_"Shut up,"_ Kari growled.

Tai stumbled into the stall, grinning and chuckling. He pushed the door closed and locked it in place, the whole time trying not to just burst into peals of laughter.

"Now," he began, swallowing some of his sudden good humor. "Do you want to tell me just how you got yourself up there, little lady?"

Kari glared at him from her rather...unique position. Her arms were stretched over her head, where her hands held the coat hook screwed into the back of the door in a deathgrip. Her legs were folded up like a frog's, laid flat against the smooth surface of the door. Her teeth were grit tightly against one another, and her face was even redder than Tai's. Trails of sweat shone on her face. Sister on a hook, get 'em while they're hot! He fought not to laugh again.

She looked him straight in the eye and said, "I jumped."

"Did you really?"

"Yes."

"When I came in?"

"Yes."

"So...you jumped in the air, just managed to grab hold of that hook, and hung there while I searched all the stalls? All without making any more than a rustle and a thump?"

"Yes."

"Liar."

"...am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too." He leaned up against the side of the stall, still grinning, and watched his sister try to weasel out of her predicament.

"How would you know?"

"I just know. Do you wanna get down now?" His grin was gone now, replaced with the most serious look he could muster.

Kari squirmed a bit, then nodded. Tai could see her cheeks fill with blood as she blushed, and decided to refrain from making any more wiseass comments. He wrapped his arms around her waist, waited for her to let go of the hook, then slowly lowered her to the ground.

When he looked at her again, she too was wearing a somber face. Hers, though, was one to be taken for more seriously than his. Tai immediately kneeled next to her-ending up with his foot in the bowl of the toilet-and peered into her face. He didn't say anything, just watched and waited.

Kari opened her mouth.

"I'm sorry."

Kari blinked and looked at Tai, her mouth still hanging open. She shut it, then opened it again. "What for?" she asked, hands unconsciously rubbing one another, trying to get the pins and needles out.

"For yelling at you. I don't know why I-well, okay, I do know why, but-I can't believe I-can you ever forgive me?" he rambled.

Kari blinked again. She tilted her head to the side. "Why are you sorry? I was the one that kissed you. _I'm _sorry."

Tai flinched. He couldn't argue with that.

That wouldn't stop him from trying, though.

"Look, about that-"

"You were mad at me, weren't you?" She wasn't looking at him anymore.

Tai paused to smack his lips noisily a few times, then tried to go on without seeming as panicked as he really was. "_No!_ Why would you think that?"

"I saw it in your eyes." She turned her foot back and forth on the tip of her shoe as she spoke. "Before you yelled at me, I looked in your eyes and I saw that you were very very angry. You were mad."

"No I wasn't! I was-" He stopped short, unable to find a descriptor for exactly what he had been. "I was-" He snapped his fingers and stammered into a conclusion. "I-I-I was scared! You startled me! I wasn't mad!"

"Liar."

"...am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

Tai frowned. "How would you know?"

Kari caught his eyes with hers. "Because I saw it."

Kari: 1. Tai: 0. "I'm not mad anymore."

"I know."

"You saw it in my eyes?"

"I heard it in your voice."

"Oh." He swallowed. "Kari...why did you kiss me?"

Kari gravitated to the corner of the stall furthest from her brother. "..." Her eyes were aimed down at the ground.

"Oh, c'mon, please talk to me." He stared at her pleadingly, willing her to communicate. "I promise I won't be angry any more."

She twisted her shirt in her hands.

"I swear. Come on, Kari, when was the last time I broke a promise?"

A phantasmic smile touched the edges of her lips. "What time is it now?"

Tai scowled, forcing his mouth downward to keep himself from smiling. Sometimes she was too funny for her own good. "Real funny, Kari. I'm not that bad." _Am I?_ part of his mind asked, but he dismissed its words instantly; he had just discovered that he had something new to say. "Look, I swear on Agumon, okay? Is that good enough for you?"

Kari turned her face towards him. "You promise not to get angry if I tell you?"

"I swear on a big orange dinosaur, I do I do." He half-grinned. "I will not get angry, so help me Agu." His grin, pathetic as it had been in the beginning, faltered dramatically as he looked at his sister. She wasn't smiling. She wasn't frowning. The expression she wore dropped his body temperature by twelve degrees. It was nothing short of apocalyptic.

His mouth was suddenly very, very dry.

Kari began to speak, and he listened.

"I kissed you because...well, because...because I...because..." She slid down the wall until she sat on the floor, her eyes peering between her knees. "Because...because...because..." And then her eyes took on a glazed, glassy look, the look of someone who is detaching their mind from their body to shield themselves from some unavoidable cataclysm. "Because...well, because I just love you. I've loved you ever since you and Agumon came back home...after you went back I just sat in my room and cried. I didn't know why until it was all over and we were out of the Digital World. It's because I love you, and I don't know what do about it."

"Why do you..." Tai felt the lump stir in his stomach. He knew that when Kari said "love" it wasn't the normal kind, the kind that only went as far caring for a person. It wasn't simply platonic, the friend-to-friend or brother-to-sister type of love that's supposed to be there. This was pure, untainted and unrestricted love they were talking about here. There were no walls in this love. If the person you loved were threatened, you would think nothing of sacrificing yourself for their safety. If they were hurt, you would do your all to comfort them. If they were happy, you couldn't help but be happy, too.

This was love unshackled.

"Why do you...love me?" The lump traveled up his throat just a bit. Just enough to be uncomfortable.

"Why?" she said, and Tai was stunned to see her smile in her half-dazed state. "I love you because...I don't know why." Her brow wrinkled. "Does anyone really know why they fall in love with someone? One time I asked Mommy how she fell in love with Dad and she couldn't tell me. She just said 'It happened, just like that!' and snapped her fingers." Kari laughed. "I guess that's what happened to me, too.

"Today was supposed to be a date, you know." She turned her head to look at him, her eyes suddenly alive and awake again. "Mommy and Dad don't even know we went. I wanted to ask you out all by myself."

_A date? Ask me out? WHAT?_ Tai thought hazily. His mind swam with the concept.

Kari continued. "I got you a prize, I paid for dinner, and I kissed you." She giggled shrilly. "I guess I did everything I was supposed to, if the movies and the books and all my friends are right." She looked around at the bathroom with an exhausted sigh. "I don't know why, but I really don't think any of them are.

"After all, you don't love me," she whispered.

Tai stared at her. "Wh-"

"You love me, but not like I want you to." She stared up at the super-bright fluorescents, tears just beginning to drip from her eyes and roll down her cheeks. "And _don't try to deny it,_" she croaked, voice thick and low. Her eyes closed as she laid her head back and cried.

Tai was caught in information overload. _When did my sister get so wise? When had her thoughts become so deep? How come I never noticed it?_ He goggled at Kari, completely unable to say anything. _Is this what being a Digidestined did to her? If so, damn Gennai and his prophecy!_ He made a fist and closed his eyes. _Kari, I'm so sorry...you were the Eighth, the last, and look what it did to you._ He opened his eyes as an equally disturbing thought crossed his mind. _What did it do to _me?_ What did it do to _all of us?

He looked at his sister, who looked back unblinkingly through her tears.

_And what am I supposed to do about my sister LOVING me!_

A long silence stretched between them, broken only by the sound of Kari's soft sobs and Tai's labored breathing.

"Kari..." he whispered after a few minutes.

The girl lifted her head to look at him properly. "What?"

"You know..." He swallowed. "You know that loving me like that is wrong?" He almost choked on that last word.

She nodded. "That's what Mommy said. But I don't really care."

"Y-you told Mom that you love me?"

"Yeah. I don't think she thought I was serious, though. She was making dinner. You know how she is when she's making dinner."

Tai smiled slightly. "Yeah. She can't take her mind off it for even a second."

Another silence.

"You don't hate me, do you?"

"No."

Kari looked into his eyes. "Good."

"I thought so."

"But," she went on. "You don't love me, either, right?"

One more silence, the longest of them all. Kari watched Tai, outwardly calm but inwardly anticipatory, full of little girl energy. If she hadn't been sitting in the corner of a stiff stall on hard tile floor with the weight of knowledge on her shoulders, she would have been bouncing to and fro.

Ten days, hours, minutes-Kari couldn't tell which-later, Tai spoke, his eyes boring into hers, brown unto brown.

"Kari...an hour ago I would've said 'no' right off the bat. Now..." He shook his head. "...now I don't know...I can't even think right now...too much, too soon, too little time to absorb it all." He squinted. "I can't even see properly, let alone think.

"I'm going to have get back to you on this, Kari, because I don't know."

Eyes on eyes. A staring contest with no known purpose.

Tai won.

"Okay." Kari got up and wiped her eyes with her wrists. "I'm going home."

She opened the door and was gone.

And in her absence Tai began to cry.

* * *

**End Act II**

* * *

My baby's got a heart of stone

Can't you people just leave her alone?

She never did nothing to hurt you

So just leave her alone

The motion of her tiny hands

And the quiver of her bones below

Are the signs of a girl alone

And tell you everything you

Need to know

I can't explain it

I feel it often

Every time I see her face

But the way you treat her

Fills me with rage and I

Want to tear apart the place

You try to tell her what to do

And all she does is stare at you

Her stare is louder than your voice

Because truth doesn't make a noise

No, truth doesn't make a noise

Truth doesn't make a noise

**-"Truth Doesn't Make A Noise,"** by The White Stripes


	3. Act III: In The Cold, Cold Night

This is not a lemon, but it sure comes close. I mean, like, real close. It's mere millimeters from lemonry--but it remains on the clean side of the line...well, the slightly clean side, anyway.

This story contains strange, unconventional things. You have been forewarned.

I do not own Digimon. I do, however, own a large plot of land in Antarctica. Or so my lawyer tells me.

This is Season 01, or, rather, shortly thereafter.

And on with the show!

I JUST LOVE YOU

Act III: In The Cold, Cold Night

written by

agz

He stumbled out of the bathroom five minutes later, eyes rimmed with red, and bumped right into the lady with the long nails. He backed up a foot or so and peered at her. She gave him a pitying look and pointed with a single clawed finger.

Tai stared at the finger, then pushed past the lady without so much as an "excuse me" to grease his departure. He heard her make a sound somewhere between a sniff and a snort (a sound somehow reminiscent of a sneezing elephant) behind his back, then the click of her heels as she walked away.

Tai had to fight the urge to turn and scream at her. Just a good, long, incoherent scream, for maybe thirty seconds or so. Maybe then she wouldn't be so apt to try to tell people what to do, the uppity little bi--

_That's enough, Tai, we get it, you're mad and confused and exhausted. Now stop pissing and moaning about it and go home._

But he didn't _want_ to go home, because home was where his sister was. And if _he_ was where his _sister_ was, eventually he'd have to look into her eyes again, and if he did, he didn't know what he would do. Explode, maybe? Just go "KABOOM!" and splatter himself all over the walls? Doubtful, but it would sure make things easier.

He couldn't go home. Not yet.

Tai walked--no, _shuffled_, his feet dragging across the concrete in long, hoarse scrapes--past the various booths, cutting a path through the people crowding the area. He could feel their eyes on him, taking in his red eyes, pale face, sagging shoulders, limp arms and leaden feet. He knew their thoughts, their oh-so-discourteous thoughts: that boy is stoned, that boy is smashed, that boy is dangerous, that boy will mug and beat you if you give him the chance, he is oh-so-dangerous and oh-so-epitomizing of his generation. Watch out for that boy, he's crazy.

He didn't care what they thought of him. As long as they left him alone, he didn't give a damn about their thoughts or opinions. They could all go to hell.

So he made his slow, noisy way through the accusatory mob, his head full of buzzing, bumbling bees, clouding his thoughts and numbing his senses. The lids of his eyes flickered up and down as he fought to stay conscious, and his upper body was beginning to slump forward. Something in the corner of his mind kept telling him to stand up straight, open your eyes up a bit more, you look like a zombie. He heard the words, but was helpless to do anything about it.

Which is why when he came to the centipede on the path, he thought nothing of just stepping right in in his drained state.

He regretted it instantly, for as soon as he entered some random body bumped into him, sending him careening into someone else, who pushed him away with their elbow, knocking him into a hefty woman, whom he bounced off of and was sent spinning into another person, from which he began all over again. He was like a pinball caught between a series of bumpers, bouncing from one to the other, moving fast but going nowhere. His head lolled wildly on the axis of his neck as he shot from person to person, feet stumbling across the pavement, trying to find purchase even as he tumbled through the crowd--

and then out, as one final shove tossed him out of the centipede's guts. He landed flat on his back on the pavement, eyes wide, gazing up at the darkening sky. Stunned, he laid there, unmoving, and contemplated the meaning of life, the universe, and everything--everything and _anything_ except what he needed to be thinking about.

_Kari._

_Screw Kari,_ he thought, scowling.

_Oh, is that what you want?_ said a little voice in a sing-song rhythm._ Is that what you meant? You want to screw Kari?_

Tai's eyes widened with panic. _No! That's not what I meant!_

_Oh, really?_

_Yes, really! I meant--_

_You meant what? You meant "forget Kari, she's not important"? Is that what you meant?_

_No!_

_Then what?_

_I--_

_Maybe you meant that you should screw Kari, because she's not important; you can do whatever you want with her. Is that it?_

_No, no, no!_

_I think it is._

_Well, no one gives a damn what you think!_

_You do._

_No I don't!_

_Sure you do._

Tai's eyes narrowed; orange-red clouds were reflected in his eyes._ Why would I?_

_Because I'm you, dummy. I'm the voice of instinct. I'm all your impulses given speech. All the things you want to do at the spur of the moment are whispered into your ear by me. I cannot be ignored._

_Oh, really? _Tai grinned a dead man's grin. _Well, watch this._

He laid there, staring up at the sky, with that lifeless grin plastered on his face, and he ignored the voice of impetus.

In its place, another voice spoke up.

_So, what're you going to do?_

_About what?_

_You know what._

_Yeah, I do._ His eyes darted to the side for a moment, then returned to the burning sky. _What _do_ I do? What _can_ do?_

_Well...it's all relative to one thing: whether you love her like she wants you to love her, or not._

_But how can that be what she wants? She's eight! She doesn't know love from a good case of gas! And neither do I! I'm barely a teenager! A kid! We're both kids! And related!_

_She knows what she wants because she knows. Love knows no bounds, as they say._

_Fuck what they say. It'll never work._

_How do you know?_

_Because it won't! Something like this could never work!_

_Ah, and there you're wrong. Things like this work all the time._

_What? No they don't!_

_Yes, they do. You've just never noticed them in action, because, at the time you witnessed them, you weren't paying attention._

_Whatever._

_You'll see in time. But right now, you have to get home. Get up, dust yourself off, and follow her. She's alone, and it's getting dark. You don't want to leave her unprotected like that, do you? You've been pretty stupid, just sitting in that bathroom, and just laying here on the ground doing jack squat. You should've followed her out._

_You're right. I should go._ He got up, brushed gray dust off himself, and headed for the exit. As he walked, he tentatively reached out to speak to that last voice. _You're not going to leave me, or anything, right?_ He had no desire to be left alone with the voice of impetus again; he'd begun to despise that voice.

_Never. I'm you, after all. I'm not going anywhere._

_Good, because that other voice is a pain in the ass._

* * *

She heard him coming. It was hard not to; he was running, and his shoes were flopping against the cement, their redundant _flop-flop_ing echoing off the buildings. Besides, who else would be so eager to catch up with her? There weren't any major perverts in this part of town; no one ever got snatched from the streets around here. This was a nice place to live. 

So it was him. It could be no one else.

The flopping noises neared her, and she focused her gaze on the sidewalk. She didn't want to look at him, just in case she ended up looking at his face. If she looked in his face, she'd end up looking in his eyes, and she didn't know if she could stand to see what was in there.

_Don't look,_ she told herself. _Don't look, don't look, don't look._

He was right behind her. He was pulling up beside her. Kari kept her eyes on a long, winding crack that traveled along the length of the sidewalk. She would not look. She would _not._

He was just to her left. He was right next to her.

He was passing her. He was going on ahead, still running, shoes still flopping.

Kari stopped, and looked up. She just barely caught a glimpse of the man in the jogging shorts before he disappeared around the corner. Stunned, she stood there, completely unnerved.

_Maybe he's not coming. What if he's still back there in the bathroom? What if he ends up in there all night?_

She turned and looked back down the way she came. All she saw was an endless concrete path, dimly lit by the flickering yellow-orange streetlights. The sun had come and gone, the day was done, and little Kari was all alone.

All alone.

Suddenly she was scared. Sure it was a nice neighborhood, but shit _still _happened from time to time. She couldn't possibly be as safe as she thought she was; surely someone would come along, grab her up and carry her away. Then that someone would take her to some shady part of town and--

She ran. She couldn't stay, she had to go, go, go. She had to get out of this inky night and into the safety of her well-lit home. So she ran, her legs pumping, her hands balled into swinging fists. Her eyes jumped from left to right, searching her surroundings for dark men in long coats with hands like tarantulas: hairy, and full of twitchy, sticky appendages. This man, with his spider-hands, was in every dark corner that caught her eye. His grin was wide and his teeth were bright and shining.

_If he catches me, he'll have a mouth full of red instead of white,_ Kari thought dazedly. _Wait...where have I seen that before?_

She looked left, and saw him again--only now he had two oversized canines, dangling from his upper gums. The teeth parted, and a bright red tongue danced over their surface. Kari screamed, and turned away--

Hands grabbed her. She tried to break away, but the hands--hairy and sticky, just as she'd imagined--held her effortlessly. She tugged and twisted, pulling with her all her weight, trying to escape the creature's grip. She began to cry when she realized it was hopeless--

"Stop!" someone yelled. "Stop!"

_It's Tai,_ Kari thought, still struggling to free herself. _Tai's come to save me._

"Stop!" The voice was even closer now. "Stop, damn it!"

Kari let her knees unlock, and she dropped to the ground and began to twist her arms and kick out with her legs. One of her feet hit home, and she heard the man with the spider-hands and the dangling fangs cry out. His hands loosened, and she was free. She scrambled away across the concrete--

and the hands pulled her back again. She closed her eyes, and started to cry.

"Stop it! _Stop!"_ she heard Tai say. "Just stop!"

She turned and looked at her captor with eyes full of tears. It was a man with pale blue skin, sleek blonde hair, and dark eyes full of hunger. His free hand stretched out towards her, the over-long nails poised to claw her face to shreds--

Then, in the blink of an eye, the man began to disintegrate, falling away to reveal a boy with big hair underneath.

It was Tai. This whole time, it had been Tai. The blue man had been a hallucination, a fantasy. A figment of fear and the shadows.

"Stop it, Kari," Tai whispered. "Settle down. It's just me..."

She stared at him, tears pouring out of her eyes, then pushed herself close, wrapping her arms around his waist. He locked his arms around her, and felt her shake and jerk as she began to cry. Looking down at the top of her head, he found he wanted to cry, too. He fought it off; he had to remain composed. For her. If only for her.

Gently, he peeled her arms away from his body, and scooped her up in his arms. She laid her head on his shoulder and, still crying and trembling, slid her arms around his neck. Tai hooked an arm under her, to hold her in place, and patted her back with his free hand.

"We're gonna go home, okay?" he whispered to her. "We're gonna go home, alright?"

He felt her whole body shudder, and then she nodded, warm tears dripping onto his neck. Tai began to walk, whispering consoling words to his sister, holding her the way he'd hold a baby, making his way home.

Right up until she fell asleep, he could hear her apologizing to him.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Tai stumbled through the door to the Kamiya apartment, his arms and legs aching under the dead weight of young Kari. He'd had to carry her two blocks to the building, up several flights of clanging metal stairs, and down the catwalk to the door itself, where he'd fumbled and struggled for three minutes to unlock and open the door. All in the dark, and after an unnaturally exhausting day. 

Once the door had been opened, he'd staggered in, stumbling and nearly falling forward, his sister's body flopping in his arms, then tensing and gripping him around his neck and torso. He regained balance quickly, but that didn't stop his brain from panicking and his heart from hammering. He took a couple seconds to compose himself, flicked a few locks of brown hair (his sister's and his own) out of his eyes, and closed the door with his foot. He then edged over to the light switch by the door, and tried to flip it up with his elbow.

After a few frustrating minutes of blind fumbling, Tai gave it up and peered into the darkness. He could just barely make out one large, long, rounded shape and a smaller, boxy shape just opposite it. A few seconds of peering later, he realized they were the couch and the television, respectively. There was a clear path between them, and beyond was the mouth to the hallway that lead to their room.

He shifted Kari in his arms, and made his way through the family room. On the other side of it, he walked until he bumped into a wall, then made his way over to the hallway in the dark, keeping one elbow touching the wall to help guide him. He bumped into a few hanging pictures, sending them swinging and scraping against the wall, but otherwise he made it through without hassle.

Of course, the door to his room was closed. He had to let one arm slip under Kari, hooking her against his body, to free his hand to turn the knob. He pushed the door all the way open with his knee, then wobbled in.

He had to pry her off himself. Even in her sleep, her limbs had locked themselves around him, and they weren't willing to unlock. And she was sweaty, too; she always was when she fell asleep in someone's arms. This made for a sticky, trying situation. And sometimes she woke up, and restored her grip, and that wasn't helping, either. Tai'd had to dodge her arms and legs several times before she was finally off.

As soon as she was on the bed, she rolled over, curled up into a loose fetal position, shivered, and settled back into a world of dreams. A couple minutes later she was snoring lightly.

Tai pulled the blanket up to her neck, and tucked it underneath her body.

Standing there in the dark, looking at her sleeping, he was overcome by a swell of déjà vu. He'd done this before. He'd been in this _position_ before. It was a long time ago, but...

He shook his head. He knew when he'd done this before, and he didn't want to think about it. He was a different person now. He was _grown up._ He didn't think thoughts like that anymore.

_Oh?_ said the voice of impetus, who'd apparently awoken and was ready to spread some doubt. _That's not what all those doujinshis in your mattress say. You have all that kinky porn in there, I know. You're a pervert, Tai. You'll never change, you know that._

Tai didn't evenbother arguing with the voice this time. Sleep, arriving in a much bigger and much faster wave than déjà vu, washed over him, and his eyelids drooped instantly. The voice faded in the face of deadly sleep, which was slaying what alertness he had left.

He climbed up into his bunk, dropped onto the bed, shuffled under the blanket, and let sleep take him down.

As he slipped away from wakefulness, he knew that the next day would be very, very strange.

* * *

In the lower bunk, Kari gazed into the darkness, listening to the sound of her brother snoring in the bunk above her. 

She laid there, staring at nothing, knowing that her night would be sleepless.

* * *

Tai was wrong. The next day wasn't simply very, very strange, it was also very, very frustrating. 

Things were going wrong even before he woke up. He was only just peeling his eyes apart and batting away sleep from his brain when he noticed Kari sneaking out of their room on tiptoe. He couldn't see her face from where he lay--and probably wouldn't have been able to see her expression through his blurred eyes--but he didn't need to see it to know there was no smile there. Yesterday had been the single most socially disruptive day of either of their lives; recovery was not going to be quick in the coming.

With one eye half-open, he watched Kari carefully close the door. He waited until it had shut with the barest of _click_s before kicking away his comforter and sitting up on his bed.

Sitting there, staring blearily at the closed door, he realized he was already irritated, even though he'd only been awake for a minute and a half.

* * *

Breakfast held no improvements for the situation. 

Kari sat opposite Tai at the table, carefully nibbling her food and staring stalwartly at her plate. She did this for the entirety of the meal. She only responded to their mother, who remained oblivious to what was going on (or so she let herself appear; in truth, Mrs. Kamiya was very concerned about Kari's uncharacteristic silence. She just didn't want to make a scene of it at the table, of all places).

Mr. Kamiya just sat and read the paper while he ate (he actually _was_ completely oblivious). He barely glanced at either of his children. There was no noisy fuss, so he sensed no problems between them.

Tai did his best to ignore the fact that Kari was ignoring him, but found himself unable to resist glancing at her occasionally. He had to wonder--was she just embarrassed, or was she planning on avoiding him like this forever? He knew Kari could be stubborn when she wanted to be; and who could say just how stubborn she'd be about _this_?

He mentally shook himself. Surely she wouldn't make things _too_ difficult. It wasn't as if she'd never talk to him again if he didn't love her like she wanted to be loved. She'd get over it, they'd forget the events of yesterday, all would be well, and life would go on.

Right?

He glanced up at Kari again, and found what little surety he'd mustered seep out of his pores. Her eyes were still locked unshakingly on her plate. She continued to eat her food like a robot, her hands going up and down in stilted, mechanical jerks. And whenever she spoke, she did so in mumbled whispers that only Mrs. Kamiya seemed to catch.

_She could keep this up for a long time,_ said a nice, quiet voice in his head. He smirked bitterly; it was the good voice, back again to help him out. _She could hate you for the rest of her life, or at least until she grows up, and even then she might still be bitter. You're going to have to take care of this with some sort of grace, or you two will be at odds for a long while._

Tai pushed his food around on his plate, suddenly unable to finish his breakfast. _So...what do I do? What_ can _I do?_ he thought to himself. His eyes jumped up to catch a quick glimpse of Kari before dropping back down again. I'm in a real bind here, little voice. _I could use some advice right about now..._

_I can't tell you what to do,_ the voice said. _You're going to have to figure it out yourself. All I can tell you is that you don't have much time to make a decision--five days, at the most, maybe,counting today. Any more than that and the chance of her slipping away from you increases. You're going to have to make it quick; otherwise...shit may fly._

Tai nodded, then glanced around nervously to see if anyone had seen him do so. His mother was in the kitchen, and had her back to him, his father was hidden behind the paper, and Kari was busy pretending to not know he was there. No one had seen him nodding to himself. His shoulders slumped with relief.

The relief was temporary; a couple minutes later, Kari pushed away from the table, her eyes still aimed downwards, and made her way over to her mother's side. She tugged on Mrs. Kamiya's shirt to get her attention, then muttered something to her. Mrs. Kamiya listened intently, her face set in a decidedly motherly look of concern, then nodded.

Tai watched Kari leave the apartment. He winced when the door shut. He knew there was no way he was going to get to talk to her today--and maybe that was best, for now. It would probably only aggravate the situation if he tried to push Kari too hard.

He nodded to himself again, his eyes immediately dancing around to make sure there'd been no witnesses to the action, and excused himself from the table.

* * *

Tai retreated to his room. He climbed up into his bunk, folded his arms behind his head, and stared up at the ceiling. 

His mind just barely approached the subject at hand--

Tai's eyes glazed over as his brain went into sudden shutdown. If his head had been a clock, the sound of grinding gears coming to an ugly, screaming halt would have been heard.

_Can't comprehend it, can you?_ taunted that nasty little voice. _Can't wrap your head around it, huh? It's still completely impossible, isn't it? Denial has set in, and it isn't letting go. You'll never be able to make a decision about this._

_You're a failure, Tai. A screw-up. You're going to fail both yourself and your sister. You're going to mess it all up. You're a disgrace._

_No!_ he protested, even as he felt hope and comprehension slip away. _No! I can do this! I can make a good decision! I can keep this from getting out of hand! I can do this!_ His eyes glazed further, and he felt the hand of dread squeeze his heart. _I can do this...I can do it...I can make a good decision..._ His eyelids dropped down to half-mast. _There's hope...there's always hope..._

_Nope. You're all out._

_Nuh-uh! I've got some right here!_

Tai's mind was suddenly filled with the image of himself, with both hands cupped and held before him. Both hands were filled with a pile of fine pink powder, in which there stood a sign with the word "HOPE" printed on it in gold.

His lids leapt up, his eyes regained their luster, and he began to laugh.

When he was done, he knew the voice was gone. Grinning, he sat up in his bed and began to ponder his situation.

He continued to ponder until the sun had set, and darkness had fallen upon Japan.

* * *

Outside, in a nearby playground, Kari sat under a slide and stared at the ground. Children of all ages jumped and ran and laughed all around her. None of them noticed her. And if any of them had, they would've gone on running and jumping and laughing, because no one likes a sourpuss--especially not children; anything that ruins a child's good time is something to be ignored and disposed of as quickly as possible. 

Kari didn't mind being ignored; it's what she wanted. As long as he remained hidden behind this wall of senseless, childish noise she felt safe. Tai wouldn't find her, Tai probably wouldn't even come and _look_ for her. He would stay at home and just waste the day away playing video games, or something just as stupid.

So. She was _safe_.

But she wasn't happy.

As if to prove this point, a tear slid out of her eye, down her cheek and down onto her shirt. She wiped at the trail it left, then shook her head. She couldn't cry. She couldn't despair. There was hope.

There was _always_ hope.

* * *

That night, Tai waited until the night was dead in the dark, and not even the wind could be heard slapping against the building. He waited until he saw the sun peek over the edge of the horizon, and then he let his weary body drop into sleep. 

He slipped into somnolence wondering why Kari hadn't come to bed.

* * *

The next day was no better than the first. In fact, it might have been worse. Might have been. The good and the bad managed to balance themselves out, somehow. 

As soon as Tai woke up (which was around noon), he stuck his head over the edge of his bunk to look down at Kari's.

It was still perfectly made. Completely untouched.

_She must be sleeping with Mom and Dad, _he thought. _She's still avoiding me._ Anger poked at him at that thought, but he poked it back with enough force to send it wheeling in the other direction. _It's understandable. It really is. She's embarrassed. She'll get over it in time._

Some smarter part of his mind was screaming at him that, _No,_ she _wouldn't _be getting over it any time soon. It bellowed at Tai, trying to get through to the boy, trying to tell him that he couldn't try to wait it out. Something had to be done. And _soon._

Tai ignored this part. He didn't feel like being smart right now. He wanted to be _stupid_. Being stupid was easier. A stupid person wasn't expected to make any crucial, life-changing decisions. A stupid person wasn't someone who was held responsible for anything. A stupid person didn't have to do anything important. A stupid person just sat around and did stupid shit.

So on Day Two, Tai decided to be stupid. _Really_ stupid.

First he tried to pretend nothing had changed. He tried to have a humorous conversation with his mother. He tried to watch television with Kari. He tried to cheer her up with all his usual tricks--acting dumb, talking dumb, hurting himself (dumbly). He tried to get her to play video games with him.

Frustrating failure forced a change in tactics. His second volley of stupidity involved simply ignoring the fact that Kari was ignoring him. Unfortunately, he tried to do this while he was in the same room as his sister, and the chilly atmosphere generated by two people not saying things that should be said creeped him out. He could almost _hear_ the things Kari wanted to say to him, whispered on the edge of his hearing.

Tactic Number Three involved confrontation. This tactic only lasted six minutes, because that's how long it took for Tai to start yelling and bellowing at Kari. Mrs. Kamiya spent another four minutes scolding Tai before shoving him outside, where he could "go yell and scream at the birds."

_Further_ frustrated, Tai made his way up to the top of the apartment building. Echoes of his half-muttered curses and grumbling could be heard all throughout the stairwell as he trudged up, stamping his feet on each step in childish anger.

By the time he stepped out onto the roof, he'd realized that _all_ his behavior that day had been childish. And, even though he technically _was_ a child, he knew that he had absolutely no excuse for his actions. He was in a tough spot. He _knew_ that. He also knew that he shouldn't make it any tougher. Additionally, he knew that he'd really screwed things up for himself so far.

"At least she didn't cry when I yelled at her," he said to himself as he walked over to the edge, where he draped his upper body over the railing. "She just stared and let me scream. She could've started bawling. I guess she knew I was just being stupid."

He stared glumly at the city before him. He scowled when he realized that the sun was already setting--had he really wasted that much of the day being so _stupid_? He had to fight the urge to smack himself.

He really didn't want to go back downstairs; he'd get dirty looks from his mother, blank, empty looks from his sister--and hopeless, dreadful looks from the bathroom mirror.

_Hopeless. That's my problem. I've got no hope. Even though I tell myself there's hope, I don't actually have any for myself. I can't make any for myself. I just don't have the will._

"Yup. That's right. I've got no will.

"Now, what am I gonna _do_ about that?"

* * *

His question, spoken but not heard by any other than himself, went unanswered until the middle of the third day--which is when he wised up, pulled his head out of his nether parts and stopped wallowing in his indecision. 

He almost didn't do it. He might not have, if he hadn't been seeing Kari's blank face in his mind's eye all day. He did _not_ like seeing it like that. He wanted _emotion_. Happy or sad, it didn't matter which. As long as there was _something_ there.

He had to disconnect the phone in his parents bedroom and sneak it into his; he wasn't keen on this particular conversation being heard.

Once the phone was all hooked up and the door all blockaded, he dialed the number--one that was all-too-familiar to him. The tone rang six times before someone picked up.

"Matt?"

"Tai?" said the phone. "Hey, man! What's up? It's been a while."

Tai chuckled. It felt refreshing. "Yeah, it has--if you can call _four days_ a while."

It was Matt's turn to chuckle. "Well, it seemed like it was a long time. Hold on." Tai heard Matt cough just to the side of the phone. "Sorry 'bout that. So, how's life?"

"Bad," Tai admitted. "Very bad."

"Oh?" Concern dropped right into Matt's voice, and suddenly Tai knew he'd done the right thing. If there was _anyone_ who could help him right now, it was going to be Matt. "How so?"

"Well..." Tai bit the inside of his cheek. He hadn't exactly planned this out. "...I'm having girl troubles."

There was a pregnant pause, then Matt laughed. "Is that all?"

Tai let out a shaky snicker. "Yeah, I guess."

His friend laughed again. "You sounded like Kari had died, or something. Full of dread, y'know?"

"Yeah..." Tai had had to swallow a squeak at the mention of Kari's name. "It's just...things are difficult."

"Well, they kinda are with girls." Tai could feel Matt grinning on the other side of the phone, and couldn't help but grin himself. "So...what's your problem, exactly? It can't possibly be as bad as you think."

_If only you knew,_ Tai thought. _Scratch that, actually. I hope you never find out about this, Matt. Never._

"Well...this girl likes me, right? And I don't know what to do."

"What do you mean, you don't know what to do? C'mon, Tai, you're not becoming shy on me, are you?"

"No, but--"

"Then I don't see the problem--unless you don't like her back."

"Well, see, that's the problem. I don't know whether I like her or not."

Another pause. "Wow, Tai. I don't think I'd ever imagined you making so little sense."

Tai rolled his eyes. "I know, I know. It sounds pretty stupid--"

"Yup."

"--but that's the way it is."

"How can you not know?"

"I just--" Tai's mouth snapped shut, then opened again. "--I just _don't_. If I go ahead and be with her, and make her happy...well, things could get tricky."

"Tai, Sora's mom doesn't dislike you _that_ much."

Tai blinked. Then he blinked again. Then he blinked one more time.

_"What?"_

Matt sighed, his breath blowing across the receiver and sending a burst of static into Tai's ear. "Look, it's obvious you're talking about Sora. Let's cut the crap, okay?"

Tai, stunned into silence, could only nod. Then he realized that nods did not translate over the phone, and managed to mumble an "okay" in reply.

"All right, now that _that's_ out of the way...we both know that Sora has a thing for you. And I'll be damned if I didn't think you had one for her, too--only I guess you're not sure, or something." Matt's tone now spoke of a frown instead of a grin. "Look, if you're not going to grow some guts when it comes to girls, you're never going to get _anywhere_ in life. You've got to learn how to handle these kinds of things."

"Okay," Tai mumbled again.

"And Sora's mom wouldn't mind you and Sora being together. I know she doesn't like Sora playing soccer all the time, and she doesn't like that her little girl plays with _you_, but she doesn't _despise_ you or anything. Just don't bring up soccer, or wear the uniform around her, and you'll be fine. All right?"

"Okay. I'll...I'll grow some guts."

"Good. That's what I want to hear."

They spent the next ten minutes discussing video games. Then Tai lied and said he had to go eat dinner. He hung up the phone with the feeling that all the dread that had washed away at the sound of Matt's voice was slowly rushing back at him. Matt hadn't understood at all--although that really wasn't surprising. He hadn't told him everything. And if he had...things would have only gotten more complicated.

_Grow some guts,_ his mind repeated. _That doesn't sound like a bad idea, now does it?_

Suddenly, dams were erected around Tai, and the dread was halted.

"No, it doesn't sound bad at all..."

* * *

Day four. The Apocalypse neared.

Tai could feel the pressure pressing down on him. In the apartment, it was completely inescapable. He wasn't even safe in his bedroom--he felt the crush of indecision and isolation there, too.

So he left the house, ignoring the queries of his mother and the unnervingly quiet presence of his sister as he exited. He had to get out. If he stuck around, he wouldn't get anywhere, and he wouldn't be able to salvage his situation.

He tried not to think of anything as he wound his way down to street level. It seemed to work, because when he blinked he was walking down a sidewalk. He decided to continue this tactic, and just let his feet take him wherever they pleased.

When he arrived at the entrance to Kichigaisakka Park, he was almost surprised. Almost. Somehow, in a twisted way, it was just what he'd been expecting.

He entered the park--which was empty today, not a person in sight--and let his feet lead the way again.

_A date..._ he thought. _She was trying to take me on a date...no, she did take me on a date...I just didn't realize it..._

He walked through the area where the game booths had been. Even though it was just a stretch of blank concrete now, he could still remember where the water gun game had stood. He grinned as he remembered the way Kari had looked like a little warrior when she'd played...and then he grinned even wider when he remembered how he'd taken care of little Davie after the little snot had assaulted his precious sibling.

Then he remembered something else, and he sent his feet into overdrive. There was something he'd forgotten...something they'd _both_ forgotten...

He slipped right onto the path--the same path that had been so bustling and full and violent less than a week ago--and began to run.

He took a hard right, almost tipping over with the speed of the turn, and dashed into the food court.

Twelve seconds later he was standing next to the table he and Kari had dined at. Amusingly enough, their plates were still there, his empty, hers half-covered by a petrified piece of pizza. A couple flies had settled onto the crust and were happily nibbling on it.

Tai ducked down to look under the table.

Nothing.

He pushed the chairs aside, almost knocking one over.

Nothing.

He stood, examined his surroundings, spied the nearby foliage, and nearly dived in. His hands groped blindly in the greenery, earning himself cuts and scratches across his forearms. He flailed, and groped, and searched, and hunted--

Nothing.

No, wait, there it was. Just under the branches.

He dug it out, trying to be as gentle as he could. He didn't want to damage it.

After a minute of careful extraction, he finally pulled it out of the bushes. He knocked a few twigs and leaves and burrs off it, and held it at arm's length.

He frowned as he examined it. The noxious pink bear appeared to have taken quite a beating in the past few days. Someone had stepped on it--several someones, if all the different shoe treads were any evidence--and it was tattered around the edges. Some of the lace on the too-bright yellow dress had become stretched and undone, and its back was lightly coated with mud.

_But it's still in one piece. There aren't even any holes. The stitching's still good. All it needs is a good washing._

"Which is _exactly_ what I'm going to give you, little bear." Tai grinned at it. "I'm going to give you a good washing, and then I'll give you back to _her_.

"And maybe it'll make things just a little bit better..."

* * *

"What are you doing with my laundry?"

Tai's head popped up from behind the pile of damp clothes that was heaped in his arms. When he saw his mother standing at the door of the washroom, his eyes widened.

"Um...helping?"

Mrs. Kamiya's eyebrows rose slightly as her face formed a look of incredulous disbelief. "Are you, now?"

"Um...yes," Tai said. It wasn't _quite_ a lie...he hoped.

Her look became stern, and it held for a couple seconds before it faded. She could read her son like a book, and right now he read: I'm doing something I don't want you to know about. It's nothing bad, but it's embarrassing. Please go away. Right now. Please.

"Finish what you're doing and meet me in your room, all right? We need to talk."

Tai nodded eagerly, his chin bouncing off a pair of pink shorts. _Anything_ to get his mother out of there; thank God he'd left the bear on the floor behind him. "I'll be there in a second!" he said to her back as he rushed to close the door. "Just a second!"

Once it was shut, he shoved the heap into the dryer, turned it on, and dashed over to the bear. He needed to do this fast; he wasn't keen on getting caught again. He quickly read the washing instructions on the bear's tag, adjusted the washer accordingly, and tossed the bear in.

That done, he felt an odd sense of relief. Just hearing the sound of the rushing water seemed to make him feel lighter on his feet. Things were finally coming together.

Nodding to himself, he left the washroom.

* * *

His relief drooped considerably when he entered his bedroom. His mother was giving him one of _those_ looks. It was a look with enough force to melt eyeballs and boil blood. She didn't use it much, but when she did...

Tai felt sweat form on his skin. "You wanted to talk?"

Mrs. Kamiya nodded. Her look did not waver--not even as Tai sat down next to her on the bottom bunk.

"So..." Tai ventured, to complete silence. "What are we going to talk ab--"

"What did you do to Kari?"

Tai's eyes widened. "Nothing!"

"Then what did you say to her?"

"Nothing!" Lies. All lies.

"Did you do something and not realize it affected her?"

"No!"

"Then _what's wrong with her?"_ She was crying now, tiny tears sliding down her cheeks. "She's not talking to anyone but me, she's hardly eating, she sleeps with your father and I but she doesn't do any _sleeping_, there's no expression on her face anymore and and and and _don't you have any idea what's wrong with her?" _This last was half-moan, half-scream, and sent Tai scrabbling to the other side of the bed. "Don't you have _any clue?"_

Tai stared at her, frightened, his mind scrambling to assemble a lie, something misleading, deceptive, underhanded--whatever it took to get her off his back.

But then something inside of him shook its head, swept all that aside, and told him to just fess up. It was likely Common Sense that did it.

"Yes," he whispered.

"Yes? _Yes?_ Yes _what?"_

"I know what's wrong."

His mother stared at him.

"You do?"

"Yes."

There was a pause.

Then--

"Can you tell me?"

Tai's gaze slid to the side. "No."

"Why not?"

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because..." Tai swallowed, and kept his eyes averted. "Because Kari wouldn't want me to."

She was supposed to scream at him, tell him off, maybe slap him for being stupid--any little angry thing would do.

Instead, she nodded. Tai saw it at the very edge of his vision. She nodded, and bit her lip, and wiped at her leaky eyes.

"Well, that's alright, then. If Kari wouldn't want you to, you shouldn't." She picked at the edge of her shirt for a couple seconds, then said "Is there anything you can do to help her?"

Tai's expression soured. He'd been wondering that himself. "I'm going to do my best."

Another nod. "That's all anyone should expect from you, Tai. Your very best." She gave him a small smile. His gaze was drawn back to her face by it. It almost made him burst into tears; it was full of hope and sadness and _love_--things he felt he was greatly lacking--and it was just _erupting_ from her smile. "Is there anything your father and I could do to help you?"

"Probably not. Just...just leave us alone. I--" He licked his lips; when had they become so dry? "I think we can handle this."

Mrs. Kamiya nodded. "And if you can't...?"

"Then we'll come to you."

She patted his shoulder. "That's a good boy." She stood up, wiping her eyes, which had started to drip again. "You do your best, Tai. Don't let your sister down, all right? I hate seeing her like this."

Tai's voice was hardly there. "So do I..."

His mother walked over to the door, then spun around suddenly, the doorknob locked in her shaking grip.

"You'll let me know if anything happens, won't you?"

He nodded.

She returned the nod, her lip caught between her teeth, and left the room.

Tai, alone again, just stared at his hands.

* * *

He continued to stare until he heard the blare of the washer's buzzer. Startled out of his still and silent activity, he rushed out of his room, down the hall, and into the washroom.

Tai pulled the heap of clothes back out and piled them on top of the dryer, wrinkling his nose at the smell of the wet clothing, and at the slimy way it felt in his arms; sixteen minutes in the machine hadn't done much in the way of actual drying.

He gingerly drew the bear out of the washer. It was sopping wet, its neon-pink fur matted down in clumps. It seemed to weigh about thirty pounds now, and Tai almost dropped it a couple times on his way to the dryer.

Once the bear was safely tumbling around in the dryer, he let out a huge, wispy sigh and sat down on the top of the machine. He felt exhausted, mind, body and soul. The past couple of days seemed to have drained him of energy, and he was only now feeling the effects.

_It'll be all over tomorrow,_ he told himself. _You only have to hold on until tomorrow. You can do it, and you know it. You can hold on 'til then. You can do it. You know it. It'll all be over tomorrow... _He closed his eyes. _Just hold on, don't slip up now. Everything will be alright. As long as you keep your head, nothing will go wrong. So hold on, Tai. Hold on._

The dryer's buzzer screamed behind him, and he jumped right off the appliance and landed hard on the linoleum. Startled and shaken, he stared at the machine. Surely time hadn't passed _that_ quickly...

But it had. He knew it as soon as he opened the dryer door, and hot air spilled out onto his face. Somehow he'd passed an hour telling himself to keep calm and hold on. It had felt like five minutes, but it had been so much longer...

"I must be going nuts," he muttered to himself. "I must be going _crazy_."

Crazy or not, the bear _was_ dry. The fur was soft and fluffy again, and the yellow dress seemed to glow. Light shone off all the little sequins and sparkles, nearly blinding Tai.

It's beautiful again, he thought.

Grinning, he tucked the bear under his arm and left the washroom.

* * *

Back in his room, he propped the bear up at one end of his bed and sat down cross-legged at the other.

He stared at the bear.

It stared back with its oddeyes and blank grin.

Tai's mouth screwed up into a half-scowl, and he crossed his arms over his chest. He continued to stare at the bear, waiting for some Divine Influence to smack him over the head and give him the answers.

The bear continued to stare back--and Divine Influence kept quiet.

Tai sighed. The bear tilted, then flopped onto its side.

"Well, this is going nowhere," he muttered. "But that's no surprise, is it? I haven't gone _anywhere_ in the last few days--why should anything happen today?" He glared at the bear. "The only thing I have to show for my time is a great big ugly bear--and _it hasn't done me any good!"_ He was yelling now, his hands crooked into claws, his eyes fierce with anger. "It hasn't done me any good! _Nothing's_ done me any good! I can't do _anything_ good! I can't--"

He clutched at his face with his hands, and toppled forward, his head pushing down into the mattress. He began to toss his head from side to side, trying to shake all the shit out of his brain. His hair flopped madly in the air and splayed across the bed.

"I've got to stop this, I've got to _think_." He forced his head to stop moving, and was startled to find his heart was hammering and his breath was short. He took a few thick gasps, then pushed himself back into a sitting position.

"Alright, enough messing around. I've defeated monsters made of computer data who wanted to kill me, I've traveled through a world that doesn't actually exist and returned home just fine, and one time, I had my sister's angel protector shoot an arrow of light through my body so my dinosaur protector could transform into a super-powerful creature to defeat another super-powerful creature who was bent on destroying the world. If I can go through all that with hardly a scratch, I can do _this_. I can make a _decision_."

His eyes fell on the bear. He reached over and sat it up again.

"I can _do_ this," he said to it. "I can."

And he did.

* * *

The fifth day arrived, and the sun rose--then it peaked, hanging high in the sky. Then it dropped, and began to sink behind the horizon, the world slowly becoming dark and tinged with blue.

Tai hardly left his room that day. He came out for breakfast, and a shower, and then he retreated back inside, and closed the door. He just sat on his bed and held the bear, and waited for the courage he needed to manifest in his soul.

It was a slow build-up, and it wasn't helped by how aware Tai had become of Kari's presence in the apartment. The floor just outside his door would squeak a certain way, and he would know it was her. He knew when she went to the bathroom; she was the only one who closed and locked the door every time she went in. And he knew when she was eating, because now she ate alone, after their parents had eaten. He knew even more--he swore he could track her every movement in the building--but he couldn't explain how he knew.

And knowing was certainly not helping. Every time he became aware of her, his slowly-growing stockpile of courage leaked a little, and his heart became just a little bit heavier. He knew, too, that the heavier it got, the harder it would be to get up off his bed and do what he had to do--what he'd _decided_ to do.

He tried to distract himself, keep his mind off his sister, but she was always there, wherever he turned. He turned to outside influences--but looking at hentai doujinshi only made him more nervous about what could happen later, and reading regular manga was just as annoying.

Why do these things have to be so full of relationships? he thought grumpily, tossing his copy of _Negima!_ across the room. _Stupid manga writers and their stupid loneliness..._

Irked, he looked out the window. The sky was dark blue slowly fading to black--_nighttime._ Around the time when Kari left their parents' room and had dinner.

Tai checked his courage stockpile, and nodded. This was as good as he was going to get. It was now or never.

The sound of feet on floor filled his ears, and his eyes jumped to the bottom of the door, where yellow light spilled into his darkened room in a long, thin rectangle. He listened to the sound of the feet, and watched the light. His breath sucked in when he saw the rectangle broken by shafts of shadow, which shuttered the light before disappearing completely.

He continued to listen, because, despite the demands he put on his body, it would not move. He wasn't even breathing anymore.

_Get _up_, you idiot! This is it! This is the end! Go! GO!_ screamed the little voice and the voice of impetus all at once. _GO! This is your one and only chance! GET UP YOU IDIOT!_

He stood, moving stiffly, his body in turmoil--to move, or not to move, what a damned silly little question. If thou dost not move, thou shalt not get anywhere, thou dumb bastard! Get thou ass in gear!

Once he was standing, he stuffed the bear under his pillow, carefully tucked it out of sight, and headed for the door.

It was hard to open. His wrist wouldn't turn. In fact, it seemed he didn't have a wrist. The bones there had fused together. He couldn't open the door.

_Just open the door, wuss._

His wrist turned--oh my, the bones _hadn't_ fused!--he pushed the door open, and slipped out into the hallway.

Squinting in the light, he slowly made his way down the hall. The living room at the other end was pitch black except for a faint, fuzzy blob of soft yellow light, coming from the door to the kitchen. He moved with a purpose, his every step launching him closer and closer to his goal--and his fate.

He slid into the dark, and disappeared. Seconds later, he reappeared on the edge of the light, his features cast in soft, deep shadows. He hesitated at the kitchen entrance, then pulled himself together and stepped through.

Her back was to him, and for that he was grateful. He didn't think he would've been able to do what he'd come to do if she'd caught sight of him immediately.

The room was lit with a couple candles--the scented kind Mrs. Kamiya kept around the kitchen to counter the smell of trash, rotten food, a smelly sink or Mr. Kamiya's cooking. Their light flickered and wavered, and the room was alive with shuddering shadows. The smell of flowers wafted through the room, present but not overpowering.

Tai was just thinking how surreal it all seemed--the ominous shadows and the welcoming odor--when she turned around and saw him.

He saw her, and he laughed. He couldn't help it--and he knew she almost couldn't, either. He could see her trying desperately to keep her face stony and expressionless. She wanted to laugh, but she also wanted to keep her composure.

Her face eventually settled into irritation. She just looked at him, her eyes and face and mouth pulled into annoyance.

"Jelly," Tai finally said. "On your chin. And both of your cheeks. And on your upper lip." He had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing again.

Kari rolled her eyes, grabbed her napkin off the kitchen counter and wiped her face clean. Then she turned her back to him again, and returned to her peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich.

Tai stared at her back, his eyes taking in her brown hair, ruffled and unbrushed, and her pink pajamas--her favorite pair--which were equally ruffled, as if she'd been wearing them for a while. All day, maybe.

"We have to talk."

Kari froze. She turned to look at him, her eyes wide. There was jelly on her face again, but Tai didn't laugh at it. Now was not the time for laughing.

"We do?" Kari said, absently wiping the jelly off her chin. Her eyes never left her brother.

Tai nodded. "It's very important."

Kari's eyes dropped to the floor, then bounced back up to Tai's face.

"Right now?"

Tai almost said 'you can finish your sandwich first,' but he knew he shouldn't. He wouldn't. Because he couldn't wait any longer. And neither could she. He knew it.

"Right now." He turned half-way away from her, and gestured with two fingers. "Come on. Let's go to our room." He saw her hesitation, and pounced on it immediately. "If we talk here, Mom and Dad might hear us. C'mon."

He could see her trying to escape. She didn't know if she wanted to stay or to go--to hear or to ignore.

Then her eyes settled on him, and she nodded, and stepped up next to him.

"Let's go," she whispered.

* * *

Tai's room was bright with moonlight when they entered. Turning on the light would have been a redundancy.

Tai sat on the bottom bunk. He gently sat Kari next to him. She edged away from him a little, but he didn't mind. It was understandable. He was beyond being irritated by such little things right now. All he saw was the big picture; he was blind to all else.

Silence ruled for a minute and a day. Awkwardness plagued the air.

"Kari, I've been thinking about what you said to me a few days ago..." he began. He saw Kari cringe in the corner of his eye, and paused, letting her fear and unease wane a little, then continued. "You know, I _say_ thinking, but that really doesn't cut it. I've been..." He licked his lips. "I've been _considering_ it." He frowned. "That doesn't sound much better, does it? Dammit..." He shook his head, and noticed, with great happiness, that Kari was looking at him almost normally now. "Alright. I guess 'considering' will have to do. I've been considering what you said...you know...about...you..._you_ know..."

He wanted her to say it, because he knew he couldn't. She disappointed him.

"Well, um, I've sorta come to a decision. Kind of. Okay, I sorta came to _two_ decisions. One of 'em is...like, _different_ from the other, and--" He shut his mouth and scowled. Dammit. He was screwing it all up. He looked at Kari, and her face was full of confusion.

Tai let out a big sigh, and shook his head. "Alright, I know I'm not making much sense right now, but hang with me, okay? I've got a decision to make, and there's two ways I can do it, and what I need, what I need from _you_, Kari, is the answer to a question. Just one question. It has to be the most honest and truthful answer you _EVER_ make in your _entire_ life, alright?

"And _then_ I can make a decision."

More silence. Evil, evil silence.

Which was broken by Kari's own sigh.

Tai looked at her, and now _he_ was the one trying to keep his face blank. Hers was full of emotions--fear, anxiety, indecision, but also lots and lots of hope.

There was always hope.

"What..." Kari cleared her throat. Tai watched her expressionlessly. "What's the question?"

"The question is..." He closed his eyes and bowed his head. "The question...the question is--"

Time slowed. Kari kept her eyes on Tai, watching his lips and waiting for his words.

"--the question is: 'Just how exactly do you love me, Kari?'"

Time came back to full speed, and now brother and sister were staring at each other, neither blinking, both thinking. Both could feel the weight of whatever Kari would say next.

After several minutes, she spoke.

"Tai...I love you because you're my brother, and I love you because you're always there for me--even if you're a little late sometimes--and I love you because you're funny, and I love you because you're strong, and courageous, and smart, and you never give up on your friends. I love you because you never let anything get in the way of protecting people you love, and because you're always so happy when other people are happy." She smiled, and Tai had to fight fiercely to keep from smiling right with her. "And I love you because I know you'll never stop protecting me, and loving me, even if this whole situation goes wrong. I love you because I know you'll never stop caring.

"But, really, I think I just love you because you're Tai."

Silence, for half a minute. Then Tai sniffed, and wiped the tears off his face. Kari, smiling gently, took his hand and patted it--which only sent the waterworks back into gear.

It took Tai two minutes to stop crying. When he was done, he squeezed his sister's hand and let it go.

"Well," he began, "I guess that's that." He smiled at Kari--it was an odd smile, full of restraint--and bit his lip. "Kari, in the bathroom at the park, you asked me a question--sort of--and I said I couldn't give an answer. Do you remember what you asked?"

Kari slowly shook her head, and licked her dry lips. "No, I'm sorry, I don't."

Tai grinned again, and this time his teeth showed. "Well, I do. You said 'You don't love me, either, right?'. Those were your exact words. And I mumbled something about not knowing, not being sure, something stupid like that. I didn't have an answer for you, then." He looked into her eyes, and he could see the anticipation there--and the fear.

"But I do now, Kari. I've got an answer for you." He let out a chuckle. "Kind of. Sort of."

Kari said nothing. She was waiting for him to continue.

"Well, Kari, I love you. I think I love you in almost every way that you love me--_almost_. I say 'almost' because...because I don't think I really understand just how deep your love for me goes."

Deep breath.

"But I wouldn't mind finding out."

There it was. Decision made. There was no turning back now.

Kari was just sitting there on the edge of the bed, staring at him. She wasn't breathing, or blinking, or even thinking. She was only _absorbing_, and trying to understand all the information that was rushing into her brain.

When it clicked, she pounced him.

They laughed together, Tai trying--not too hard--to keep Kari from crushing him with hugs, Kari with her arms flailing and her fingers clutching at his shirt, unintentionally tickling him and making him squirm and giggle. He let his own fingers waggle in her armpits--and Kari's whole body curled up on itself, and she kicked him, and he pushed her away and they both fell off the bed.

The drop to the floor seemed to knock the sense back into both of them, and when they got back onto the bed they were just a little more serious.

Kari looked at Tai. Tai looked at Kari.

Kari slid onto Tai's lap and hugged him around the neck. Tai slid an arm around her waist and placed his other hand on her knee. Kari's head dropped onto Tai's chest, and Tai's chin settled in her hair.

They closed their eyes as one, and held one another. Both could feel all the pressure of the last few days evaporate away, leaving them lighthearted and lightheaded. Giddiness overtook them, and they smiled. At that moment, all of Tokyo could have gone up in flames, and neither of them would've cared.

Because they were _happy_.

They sat like that for several minutes, basking in each other's bliss, which seemed to radiate from their bodies like heat. Nothing could be sweeter.

_Nothing_.

* * *

Kari's eyes slowly opened, and gazed at the room, which was splashed with blue-white moonlight. She blinked a couple times, squinched her eyes closed, and looked up at her brother--who looked back down at her with a smile on his lips.

She smiled back. "I love you, Tai."

"I love you, too, Kari." He grinned. "Dunno what that means anymore, but I know it's what I feel."

Kari giggled. "Same here."

A bit of silence--but a good silence, full of warmth.

"You know, we can't take this too far. There are...you know...some things that...y'know, some things that we can't do...you know..." He looked at her with a sheepish grin on his face. "Catch my drift?"

Kari rolled her eyes. "You mean sex, right?" She laughed when her brother's whole body stiffened--everything but a very specific, very special part, which remained limp. "I know we can't do _that_. That'd be _silly_."

Tai relaxed. "Just, you know, just making sure. Can't be too careful." He was blushing, Kari could see it, and he knew she knew. "Besides, that kiss you gave me was kinda...I don't know, suspicious. Kinda." His eyes traveled away from his sister's--

and were promptly brought back by her fingers gripping his nose. His eyes rolled around, focused on his nose, and crossed. Then he looked up at Kari, blinking slowly.

"Woulb you blease led go ub my nobe?"

She gave him an impish smile. "Only if you'll forget that I kissed you."

Tai's forehead wrinkled with confusion. "Forgeb aboud id? Why?"

"Because I shouldn't have done it."

"Bud..." He looked at her a little longer, then nodded. "Alrighd. I'll forgeb aboud id. Now can you blease led go? It's starting to hurb."

She let go--and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you."

Tai gave her a Look, then shook his head. "You're confusing."

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh."

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh."

"Meanie."

"Brat."

"Snot."

"Idiot."

"Silly little girl."

"Stupid old man."

"I'm not old!"

She stuck her tongue out at him--and he grabbed it.

"Listen, Kari--hey, stop struggling, I'm trying to talk here!" He poked her nose with a finger, then waggled it in her face. She stopped trying to free her tongue from his hand and just sat there and listened--albeit grudgingly. "Kari, there's only so far we can go with this. You know? And...and eventually it'll have to end." There. He'd said it. He hadn't wanted to, but he had, because it was important. Now, for the terrible and destructive backlash--

which didn't come.

Kari pried his fingers off her tongue, spat a few times, then gave him an impatient look. "Let's not think about that, okay, Tai? Let's just try to do this as long as we can, okay?" She gave him another hug, and he could _feel_ the happiness pulsing through his body. "I just want to be happy..."

Tai smiled, and placed his hand on her head. "Alright. Just so you know--oh! Get up a sec, I gotta get something for you." He waited until Kari had pulled away before rolling over to his pillow and dragging the bear out into the air.

Kari's eyes widened. "You...you found it?"

Tai nodded. "Went back to the park yesterday and got it. I had to wash the dirt out, and it's a bit scruffy now, but--oof!" He bent over, the force of Kari's glomp having knocked the air out of him.

"Tai, you're so _sweet_!" She unlocked her arms and carefully drew the bear from his hands--then crushed it in a hug. "I can't believe you remembered it! I thought it was gone for good!" She gave him another hug, this time with only one arm (the other was full of stuffed bear). "You're the greatest!"

Tai's sense of self worth:One hundred and seventy-seven percentand rising. He hugged her back--

just as he caught sight of his clock. '11:02' was displayed in bright green liquid crystal. His eyes widened.

"Kari...it's almost midnight. We should get to bed."

Kari pouted. "But I wanna stay up and--" Her next word was cut off by a massive yawn; exhaustion was quickly catching up with her. When she came back out of the yawn, her eyelids were drooping. She gave Tai a tired smile. "I guess it'll have to wait 'til tomorrooooooow..." She fought the yawn back down and took her brother's hand. "C'mon, let's sleep together tonight. We haven't done that since I was..." She closed one eye and stuck her tongue between her teeth as she thought. "...four, or five, or somethiiiiiii..." She let the yawn run its course while Tai slid under the covers. "...ing. Scoot over a little." She rolled across the mattress until her back came to rest against Tai's chest. She snuggled up against him, and his arms slid around her almost automatically.

Five minutes later Kari was snoring and Tai was on the brink of sleep. He didn't want to go just yet, though; his brain was only now catching up with what had happened in the last hour.

_Kari and I are... _The words "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" came to mind, but were promptly deemed unsuitable and banished. _We're closer. We love each other very much. We..._ Sleep pulled at him, and his eyelids fluttered. _We started something new today. I don't think either of us know what we're in for, or what we're doing, but I know that, no matter what, we'll always love each other._

_Because that's what brothers and sisters do._

Sleep swept him away, and he drifted into dreamland with a smile on his face.

* * *

The End

* * *

Dedicated to:

Dread and Kari

And to The One

Thanks Go To:

Angel

An Idiot

Anonymous

anon.

AnironUndomiel

A Voice In Tai's Head

Aya

Chibi-Cute Nekomon

ChibiRenamon

CyberDramon

Daniel/Ruhe/Floramon/Mewtwo/Et cetera, et cetera

DarkEdge

Duce

Hazan Z

Hentai-yuri03

Inferno66

Keaton the Black Jackal

Keeper of Time

Jean

Jiece18

J.K.

Lar-Lar

Matelk

me

Mistic-knight

more

Mr. Faramir

Ms. Pumpermelon

NekoDramon

Peter Kim

Razzie

Red Knight3

Samantha-1434

Slash the Donut-Eating Freak

Sonimon

Stranger

Sugar Snaps a lot

Taichi Kamiya/The Digital Dragon

Tazer

the dreaded blah

TheReclaimer

TheRumorWeed/Shinya Kyoto

ThunderEchoes

Tiamat/Ancient Veemon

Trunks49203

Trupan234

UnknownH

urban dream

Vigatus

Waru the Magnificently Meh

And To:

Anyone Who Cared

And

Whoever I May Have Forgotten

Author's Notes: C# and B-flat

Seriously, Author's Notes:

Mwaaaaaaaaaaah! The story is finished! Finished! Ended! Concluded! Completed! And other words with similar meanings!

Now for Author's Notes! Which will be really long, too! Because, after all the time I've taken to write this, I've naturally got a lot to say! So, if you wanna hear my thoughts, keep on reading. If not...close the browser, go back a page, whatever. Just get outta here.

...gyah! It's finished!

This Took Me Forever

Oh. My. Gentle. Jesus.

holds up a Word file This here is the original IJLY file. It contains the original plot outline for the story you have just read--the very very VERY first inklings of this 75-page monstrosity.

This Genesis File is dated July 14, 2003.

Today, the day I have finally completed the story that I have considered, at various times, to be both a bane and a blessing, is May 16, 2004.

That means that it took me approximately 297 days to write IJLY. Two hundred. Ninety. Seven. Days. A little over two months short of a full year.

"What does this all mean?" you ask. "What the hell is your point, you crazy-ass writer-type person?" you say.

I'll tell you what it means.

It means I'm a really. Really. REALLY slow writer.

watches as everybody reading facefaults

Okay, it's not just that. ;;; I am slow, though. I mean...297 days? For 75 pages? My initial reaction after calculating the days was "What the fuck!" But, then I looked back on those ten months, and I realized a couple things:

1) I was writing a helluva lot. There was this story, another story that's presently at 62 pages, two short stories (one 11 pages, the other 14), "On the Edge of Silence" (17 pages), a failed story (1/3 of a page, and several days of frustration), the beginning of yet another story (3 and a 1/2 pages), a lemon (11 pages) and the start of a request fic that has to be rewritten (3 pages). That's approximately 197 pages, and I'm not counting other, even less successful stories, nor school assignments and random scribbles/notes/what-have-you (if I did count them, the number would likely double). That's a lot of writing, and sometimes I'd switch from IJLY to these other projects and let dust gather on the pages. No wonder it took me forever to get this finished.

2) I was in a couple of relationships while I was writing this. Those things tend to do funny things to you--especially when they end, and you sink into a depression, and stop writing. Delays, delays, delays.

3) Coloring. Sometimes I'd switch from writing to coloring, mostly when I was frustrated, and felt I couldn't get anywhere with the writing. Coloring is a good way to break away from the written word and focus on something entirely different. Every now and then I would have to go through "Color Therapy" before I could return to writing.

4) Sheer, utter laziness. Terrible thing, very evil. And sneaky. Very sneaky.

Conclusion: writing IJLY took me forever, but it's because of outside forces, and not, I repeat, NOT, because I am slow writer. This is what I will tell myself until the day I die.

Oh, and people: yeah, sorry this took so long to update. upload system is screwy.

Story Origins

Okay, enough rambling! Let's focus! If anyone's reading, that is...

Back to that Genesis File! It went a little (or a lot) like this:

Begin Genesis File

Establisher: Tai looking at pornography. Kari bursts into the room and he is forced to hide it. Kari asks him if he'll take her to the park, because there is a carnival being held there. Tai says whatever, just get out of my room! Kari leaves, smiling to herself. Tai breathes a sigh of relief and stashes the porn in the hole in his mattress.

It should be 01 Kari romancing 01 Tai by taking him out on a date without him actually knowing. Then, when they're in private near the end, she kisses him (tongue and all), simultaneously stunning and arousing him. He gets hard and breaks the kiss, wondering what the hell is wrong with him.

Kari, frightened that she'd gone too far, runs away from a shellshocked Tai. It takes the boy three minutes to realize that A) his sister has run away, B) she could have been kidnapped or raped or...or...ANYTHING by now, and C) he has to find her, and fast.

Tai runs after Kari, looking for her all over, his head snapping this way and that, looking for her every which way. He gets paranoid, seeing child molesters everywhere, brutal murderers in the nooks and crannies and behind him. He runs around, pushing people out of the way as he searches desperately for his sister.

Tai finds Kari inside the girl's bathroom. He gets weird looks when he enters, but he ignores them.

Kari is crying when Tai finds her. She enters his embrace almost immediately, apologizing profusely. Tai asks her why she did what she did, and she replies with "I just love you so much, Tai, I j-j-j-just LOVE YOU!" She screams these last two words, and they echo in the confines of the bathroom.

End Genesis File

...and, as you can see, the story followed this original outline pretty closely, but new and more interesting things developed over the course of the actual writing, and I just let things flow, as usual. Things like June and Davis's cameo, the water gun game, the bear, and pretty much all of Act III were generated during the writing. I am very friendly with spontaneity.

Spontaneity is probably also guilty of making IJLY so damn long. God bless it. This story wouldn't be half the tale that it is without it.

Story Mood Swings

After a good re-reading of the story, I've come to realize that it suffers from story mood swings (SMS).

SMS is where the story seems to jump from happy to sad to happy to sad and on and on. This occurs constantly throughout the story, but it can be measured on a grander scale. If you were, for instance, to look hard at each act, you'd notice that Act I is bright and happy, Act II is slightly darker and very frantic, and Act III is thoughtful and emotional (at least, I'd like to think so). Clearly, the story suffered from major mood swings--which may or not be a bad/good thing. I haven't quite figured it all out. Yet. ;;;;;;;;;;

**Musical Influence**

You may have noticed the White Stripes song lyrics at the end of each act, and the fact that each act is named after these songs. This is because the Stripes heavily influenced me during the writing, and I wanted to acknowledge that by christening each act with the song I felt best suited the specific material. They don't fit perfectly to the story, but they do represent overall themes.

Unfortunately, the Stripes can get pretty old sometimes, and I've had to break away from them from time to time. Over the course of writing the story, I've also listened to Alien Ant Farm, The Offspring, Linkin Park, Tool, and Daft Punk. An eclectic choice of music for an eclectic writer writing an eclectic story.

References

I make lots of references to lots of things. Now I'll point them out, because no one really seems to notice 'em. ;

1) Submission Saturn: one of those Black Dog hentai doujins where one of the Sailor Scouts gets molested (and much much more) by tentacles and various other creepy things. If you can't guess which Scout gets it in this specific doujin, you must be rock stupid.

2) Kichigaisakka Park: "kichigaisakka" means, loosely, "crazy writer"--which is something you'd have to be to write a story like this for this many pages. ;;;; Originally just a reference to the silliness of the author for writing about such odd subject matter.

3) Final Fantasy VIII: my first FF game, and the best on the PSOne--in spots, at least. It had a real sucky Chocobo game, but the Junction system rocked. ;;;

4) The bear: Ugh. I've seen/held/carried a bear that looked exactly like this one, and when I did, I felt exactly like Tai did--really, really embarrassed. It was really creepy bear, too; its face was so...weird. OO;;;;

5) The clown in the silver suit (with the orange pompoms): this is a horribly obvious reference to Stephen King's It. The clown, known as Pennywise (and It, and Robert Gray, and...), looked exactly like the clown described in this story. The major difference between them? The clown from the King book would've bitten Tai's nose off or something, then changed into Myotismon and scared the piss out of him. Something like that.

6) The blue-skinned man: this apparition, which Kari thinks she sees, is supposed to be a post-traumatic reference to Myotismon. I didn't quite pull it off very well, but it served its purpose. ;;;

**Thank You's**

I'd like to thank anyone who's read this story and enjoyed it. I do this for you--and myself, but mostly for you. And myself. people: I love you. Every one of you. Even the guy who said "a lemon is sex stupid" (coincidentally my first reviewer). But I'd especially like to thank Lar-Lar and and Samantha-1434. You guys have said some of the nicest things about my work. Thank people: you amuse me. Overall rating: 10! You must be nuts:P Seriously, though, thank you guys, too--particularly An Idiot, Mistic-Knight, and Atkinboy. You stuck with me from pretty early in the game, and I'm glad that you made it to the end. Hope it wasn't disappointing...

DHZ people: bless ya, every one o' ya. 'specially Duce, Waru, urban and the Digital Dragon. I know I'm a bit odd sometimes, but you seem to have dealt with it well.

DaD people: bless youse guys, too. Primarily AnironUndomiel--who gave me the single most flattering compliment EVER. frames compliment, puts it on wall Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

People in General: ThunderEchoes, for giving me advice. Hazan, for liking (parts of) it despite its content, and for a little more advice. Waru (again) for being a bastard (I mean this in the nicest way possible, I swear). And to Dread Demon, who helped.

And to Keaton the Black Jackal, my lovely girlfriend, for encouraging me to update.

Sayo-fucking-nara, Sweet Story

Goodbye, IJLY. I will miss you dearly.

- End Author's Notes -

* * *

I saw you standing in the corner

On the edge of a burning light

I saw you standing in the corner

Come to me again, in the cold, cold night

In the cold, cold night

You make me feel a little older,

Like a full grown woman might

But when you're gone I grow colder,

Come to me again, in the cold, cold night

I see you walking by my front door

I hear the creaking of the kitchen floor

I don't care what other people say

I'm going to love you, anyway

Come to me again, in the cold, cold night

I can't stand it any longer

I need the fuel to make my fire bright

So don't fight it any longer

Come to me again, in the cold, cold night

And I know that you feel it too,

When my skin turns into glue

You will know that it's warm inside

You'll come run to me

In the cold, cold, night

**--"In the Cold, Cold, Night" by The White Stripes**


End file.
